A Million Ways to Run

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I havent blog in a while. Between computer breaking and a few other things its been hard to get on here. I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season and are winding down and back into the real world.My holiday season was full of happiness, goodbyes, laughs, tears, and lots and LOTS of dogs. My brother Jesse and his new bride Mallissa came home with their dogs Piper (Chow mix, she looks like a fox), Ziva (Jack Russel mix), and their new 8 week old puppy Teagen (basset hound and lab mix). Yes that adds a total of 7 at Christmas. It was tons of fun and lots of great times. Im sad that its all over but I know that means one step closer to warmer weather. Im not a snow person.

I would like to touch on a subject that should be addressed more frequently because it has increased so much. Suicide is national problem. I know I could sit here and tell you statistics but I wont. Most sucides are because of bullying or someone that has suffer a loss of some kind. I know most people dont understand how do you get down that far. It happens. Depression is a hard thing to deal with and if you dont know how it makes it harder. You may know that it happen to me. No I never got to attempted but I was as close as you can say close. I thought no one cared and that I was alone. When youre that far down you get the feeling of uselessness. You cant think straight.  Honestly Im not ashamed of it. That period of my life has shown me that even though life throws me obstacles that I can reach out. I am lucky to have found comfort in Reba McEntire, friends, and other things. I know now that if I tell someone whats going on and get that caringness even if its someone telling me it will be ok or hang on, a hug, or a phone call, I know I can get through whatever it is that is happening. I have a friend that give out "magic hugs" my cousin and I called them that because her hugs can melt away the worst of feelings. You can have the worst of days and she give you a hug and its gone away. I think that is because she has shown me she cares about my feelings.

I bring this subject up because recently I had a very special friend that decided he was done. He lost his wife and I guess decided he could fight anymore. No one saw it coming like most. I still dont know how to process that he is really gone. Kevin Sekley was the sweetest, caring, and funny person you could ever met. He was like my big brother. I grow up with Kevin. My brother Joe and him were the best of friends. Over the years he and his family moved away and it was just recently that he and I reconnected on Facebook. He and I would message back and forth. He would cheer me up when I was in a bummed mood. The most memorable thing I always rememer about Kevin was he was one of my brothers friends that never looked at me like I was disabled. He always nice to me. No one will understand why he did what he did. But I know that I wont remember Kevin like a depressed person that took his own life. He will be always remembered as that brother that always knew how to make me laugh. I only wish that he would have reached out to someone and talk about what he was feeling.  He left behind 4 beautiful kids and a lot of family and friends that will treasure those precious moments that they had with him. I know I will never forget him!

My message that I want everyone to know is that youre never alone. YOU MATTER!!! You may think you have hit rock bottom but you always have to option to look up. Also please please tell your love ones they matter. Even if you dont talk to some of them just tell them you care. One day you will regret not telling them. Text, call, write, email, chat, facebook, or how ever you communicate just do it today. They may just need to know that you care.

P.S. The person reading this I care about! :) You are the strength in my day to day life so THANK YOU!

Sincerely, Dream Girl