Dreams are my driving force

Hey everyone, I hope everyone is having a great day and getting all set for Christmas. I am getting excited to see my Brothers and sister in law and the rest of the family.. I hope that all make it home.

A few days ago I was talking to a friend of mine and she asked me a question that alot of people have asked me this year. What does Jen want in life? To be honest I tell everyone I really dont know because there are so many answers to this question and so many different aspects of this too. The answer to that question has changed through out my whole life and probably is like that for alot of people.

When I was a little girl my favorite movie was Walt Disney's The Little Mermaid. I watched it ten times a day and dressed up as Ariel one year for Halloween. I would dream of swimming as a mermaid in the ocean and be friends with sea animals (except sharks ofcourse). It made me feel like I could be different and it was ok.  It made me believe that i can do what my heart tells me to do.

As I got older that dream was still there but there were new dreams. Some major dreams of mine were (some still are my dreams today) to belong, to have people who understand, and the find me. Living with a disablity, you dream of being normal and being accepted for being you.

 I loved to listen to music. I loved to pretend I was a singer in front of an audience (usually my stuff animals in my room). I would try to sing in the car but usually that bugged someone so I kept quiet as much as I could. Yes, Im one that sings in the shower if I have music playing. There is just something about music that makes life so much more enjoyable. It was my outlet to most of my emotions.  

I realize now that I forgot how to dream when the tradegies in my life happened to me. I began believing that dreams are just for sleeping. I had to keep my dreams in my head because if I didnt I thought that somehow they would be taken from me. So i honestly can say I didnt dream of anything. Just went day by day and lived life. I bottled alot inside and never told anyone nothing important.  

When I began idolizing Reba (The reason why is in the earlier post called "WHY REBA?") the dreams began again.  I was so interested and amazed by how she was a small town girl and then became a superstar. I began to sink myself in her job ethic and how she does all the things she does but with grace. I admire her generosity too.  She doesnt let the stardom go to her head. I dreamed of meeting her even for like a min. I knew it was a long shot for sure but I had a dream once more.

On July 22, 2004 to my surpise that dream came true. My mom (who I love dearly and am so grateful for even if I dont know how to show it most of the time) emailed the radio station 94.5 the moose. Keith Allen (who is one of the nicest and most sweetest people Ive met) somehow got my mom backstage passes. I am forever grateful to both of them! That 3-4 mins standing there with Reba will be forever cased in my memory forever. I was so starstuck I couldnt speak. I have attended every concert that she has had in Michigan since then. Yes that is a total of 11 times since 2004. Everytime she amazes me. I dream/wish/pray to actually get to speak with her one day and tell her how she saves my life.  

I may not know what I want to do with my life but I know now that I cant stop dreaming. Yes, most of my dreams have to do with Reba but their mine. No one can tell me theyre dumb or what they ask arent you asking for some really out of reach things arent you?  I think that we live in a society that we rush and rush but dont actually take the time to dream and take in consideration of what a dream is. We go day to day trying to make money and get more and more. I like to think we need to stop realize what we have and what some people say "the climb".

Dreams are what makes the world go around. Without them where would be go. So it comes down to this "Don't ever let someone tell you that you cant do something even if you are disabled or not. Your dreams are your own. You never know when that special moment will come. Dreams come true, you just have to believe!" I will never stop believing in my dreams. Someday I will tell my hero, Reba Nell McEntire, in person what she means to me, I will find me, and find where I belong but as of right now I will be wishing on every star and never lose my dreams!  

Thank you for reading. Please comment if you wish! I appreicate all the support for this blog! Love you all! TTFN