Seasons Change

Hi Everyone, 
I hope whomever is reading this is having a great holiday season. The past few days have been up and down. Its like some days are spinning 90 degrees and other I can actually see my world. I guess that is life though. Many people tell me that I need to leave the past in the past but honestly Ive thought about it if I cant dealt with what has happened to me how can I grow out of my shell. This is one thing Im not sure what I can do to help my self leave it in the past and let some of it eat me or deal with it.

I was sitting here trying to figure out what to blog about many things come back to me about how much during Christmas time so much has changed. I can remember my brother Jesse waking me up on Christmas morning and we would race upstairs to the tree to see what Santa Claus and it would be the best day ever. We would play together as a family with the new game we got. Alot of the time Jesse and my dad would make breakfast. Christmas is my mom's bday too.  As we grew older and learn somethings, Christmas took on like a not so much togetherness feeling. We would open gifts and go our separate ways. My brother Joe didnt come home last year for Christmas morning and I slept at my own apartment last year. It just hasnt been joyful as years I can remember. I know Christmas is suppose to be about being with family and friends but to be one the has felt out of place most of her life, you treasure the moments you feel like a part of something.

I know this year I treasure so much more than I did in years past. I have open my eyes to that I have so many people espeically friends that love me. Im lucky to have them to help me through this struggle with finding me.
I hope that you and your family have a great holiday season! I know that I will be thinking of every person that is special to me! Thank you for reading! Comment if you wish! Love you all! TTFN