Times are changing, I cant keep up!

Hi Everyone,
I hope that everyone is having a great week! I know I haven't wrote in so long. My mind has been spinning ninety miles per hour and not stopping! I honestly feel on this tilt a whirl that I cant get off of.

So here it goes.. This year just seems like its not real. So much has changed it seems like when I get a hold of life something else happens or doesn't and I crash like I usually do. This summer has been the most painful, eye opener, great, and difficult summer in the history of summers.  With Reba not coming to Michigan this year as far as I know, that is something that doesnt help.

A few weeks ago, Mrs.Green was in town. I knew ahead of time she was coming. Lets just say the saying "You never know how much someone means to you, until you see them again" is the most truest saying in the world.. She came to pick me up for lunch and lets just say it took so much not to start balling right then and there. All my stress, worries, and negativity melted away for a day. Her and her sister took me to the Rose City Cafe for lunch. It was great food. Amazing time just chatting and catching up. I couldn't stop smiling. It was like she never left! When she dropped me off home, I gave her gift I made for her. She hugged me goodbye. Im not good at them. Probably never will be. I miss her so much but I know she will always be there for me and that i am so grateful for that! I love her so much!! I cant wait to see her again <3


I hope you all had a great fourth of July. This year was way different for me. For the past eight years I have served ice cream at my parents shop/bakery. I can remember a few years I didn't even get to watch the parade because we were that busy. So I got up this year thinking it was gonna be the best and relieve I didn't have to work. I had tons of fun at the parade taking pictures with the family. I went out to the lake house my parents are building after the traffic settled down. Dad got a pontoon boat so he wanted to take that out for a spin again. I joined my Grandma Joni, Grandpa Chuck, Aunt Tonya, cousin Courtney, Aunt Missie, Hannah, Mom, and Dad. It was a lot of fun. We got my dogs in the water for one of their first swimming lesson. But while I was having fun, I had this feeling that something was missing from the Fourth of July that kinda broke my heart and was on my mind that whole day. My brothers are both out of state and so I was missing them and being out on the lake made it worse. I honestly missed scooping ice cream for a lot of people and keeping busy but what I miss the most of all was that surprise hug from Harriet H. Coe. For as long as I can remember she would come find me and give me a hug! It would make my day. I would be the most stressed person ever overwhelmed with all the excitement and that one hug would make it all better! It actually because one of my favorite moments on the 4th. This year however her mom needed her much more and she was where she needed to be. I hope that she knows how much she was missed that day and how much she is loved! <3


About this time last year, I would be packing and be a nervous wreck for one of the best places in the world. I have attended Acorn Buddy Camp for the past 11 years. Acorn Buddy Camp is a church camp that pairs an able bodied person with a camper that has a disability. They help them through the week with being a helper/friend. I first attended as a camper and then turned into a buddy last year. This year when the camp booklet came in the mail. My head was telling me to wait to sign up. It was also telling me to tell what I was hiding from a lot of people about camp to people I trust the most and have them help me sort the thoughts out. So I turned to a few people I trust the most and told them my situation. 


I'm gonna share with you that I haven't told anyone but its hard to explain so it may seem confusing. I havent really felt like I fit in at Acorn Buddy Camp for the last few years. I love it don't get me wrong but being a camper and then going to a buddy side of it took me way out of my comfort zone for a lot of it. With the speaking in buddy meetings and things. Most of the buddies all have there friends they hang out with because most of them are from the Flint, Flushing, and Swartz Creek area and everything. I just kinda felt out of place. It was beginning to feel like being thrown in the middle of something you know but at the same time don't know. 


I have made a lot of friendship that I treasure from the bottom of my heart and always will. It is extremely hard not having so many friends not there like especially Emily Powell, Danelle Graves, and Meghan Key, Monika, Austin, Scott, Kellen, Chris, Nikki, Angela, Andrea Benjamin and Meg Bowden . These people made it fun and exciting. Each had a unique sense about them and that made camp special. It was like part of camp that will never be there again! Most have gone away and I dont know if they realize but they made an impact in my life.

Growing up where I am the only one with a disability like mine. Camp has always been a challenge to fit in with campers that have the support of others all the time. Most of the time I would think of myself without one because that is the way i grew up. Most nights at camp I didnt sleep because i hid my emotions and feelings and let them quietly flow at camp.. I feel that feeling this way is holding me back from the place I love so much! I miss so much we use to do like alot of one on one stuff, singing "Friends" at last campfire, and other amazing tradition that faded into thin air. 


ABC has also became alot about religion. I understand that its a church camp and that the main focus is based on that but I can remember a time that it was about hanging out and having fun. I can remember pranks being pulled, laughing and joking about things, and not so much about religion and rules. I believe in God, Heaven, Hell, and all that. I believe in the faith and angel part of the whole thing more though. I believe if you are a good person good things will happen to you and people will want to be around you and be like you. I don't think by forcing people to sit in chapel for an hour, have a religious themed dance and crafts and early bed times and strict rules that they will want to be that way or keep coming back. I understand you need rules because you want a safe camp but it just seem to be all about that lately. Not about making friendship, laughing, and having a great time.

So I didn't sign up for camp for these reasons. After talking to a true friend of mine that didn't push religion down my throat and not telling me that must be a sign telling me that I need to find something else and understood where I was coming from, I decided if I could jump through a few more hoops I would be all set to go. So this friend told me that if I could find a dog sitter that she would handle the rest. We didn't know that it would all come crashing down learning that camp was full. Lets just say that part of me basically sank so far that I honestly feel still numb! I feel like I failed this friend (MEG) and feel stupid for not signing up in the first place. I know life is life and that I cant fell and stay down but it just kills! I just hope that I can get through this week without dieing inside.  I'm trying to find a way down to visit but I have a dumb ass car that is still not fix because no one has the time to help me out that way. My parents leave on the cruise this Thursday so I get to dog sit! Yeah Me!! :/

Megan Pajtas from ABC came to see me to chat about things. She is one of my best friends ever! I wouldnt know what to do without her in my life!  I only wish I didn't feel like I let her down! Love you Megan Pajtas!!! 

Other than that...... I'm looking at Full Sail University Online for college degree. Im looking at a Bacholar's Degree in Music Business. I want to work with country music stars. Someday I want to be able to talk to Reba McEntire and tell her that I'm grateful in her helping me understand life is worth living for even if you fall  flat on your butt. But I am just looking at all my opinion before making a drastic change! Also looking for a part time job and maybe a new apartment. I am trying my hardest to stay positive as ever but some day its the hardest thing ever to do. All I want is do something this summer worthwhile! :)

Oh, Here's my advice. Talk about your problems as soon as you can. Talk to a professional, a friend, a family member.. Someone will listen!!! Second surround yourself with people who lift you up. If you dont like what someone does or is then subtract yourself from the equation!! It will make your world a better place to live in. Third if you ever friend a true friend like I have found a few, never let them go. They are what makes this world live able! :) 

I hope you enjoyed my rambling today/tonight! Friends, Near and Far I love and miss you so much!!! Sorry about all the rambling but I needed to sort these thoughts out. I just wish to have a little fun out of this county soon this summer! :)

                                                     Love you all! TTFN, DREAM GIRL
PS. Pay it forward please do something for someone else even if it is just chatting for a few mins or making a craft for them! <3

Puzzles

Hi Readers,
I hope that this finds you wonderful. I appreciate you reading this blog. I have continued to face some of my best fears. Some yes, I fail but I cant give up because I know people in my life dont want me to give up. I have recently been conquering my fear of the dentist. Today a matter a fact I got two of my wisdom teeth pulled with the help of Reba blaring in my eyes :) It hard sometimes to look fear in the eye. But I am strong everyday I try! I hope you enjoy this post as much as I did writing it and I hope that you learn something! If not that is ok!

These last few months since I have started this blog has honestly felt like I am piecing together a jigsaw puzzle. I love jigsaw puzzles especially when I get it all together and know I finish something I started. I know everyone story is different and some people understand their puzzles but for me I just didn't want to piece together anything till now. What I mean by it being a jigsaw puzzle is that I feel every time something happens to me its like a piece of the puzzle to find the whole picture that is called my purpose in life. Every time I find a piece that doesn't fit or I don't understand at the moment, I know now that I shouldn't and can't give up because I could find the next piece and it could fit with the piece that doesn't seem to make sense. I also know that life with throw pieces that don't fit at all in your pile so you can sort them out. You will probably try and fit it with every piece but when you realize it doesn't fit then you can move on till you find one that will.

I realize that people in our lives are some of the strangest shaped pieces because some really shouldn't be there because they just keep hurting your life and confusing the puzzle up. But there is a reason for everyone in your life. Some guide us and love us but sadly some of them hurt us. The ones that hurt you though usually teach you a lesson in life if you watch real carefully. You just have to find the right pieces.

I've always learned that everyday is a new day every day of my life is a piece of my puzzle.  Some times I forget this and beat myself up because I thought If I didn't do it that day I ruin it. If one day doesn't work out like you would like it to don't worry because there is always tomorrow. Another piece of my puzzle I am still trying to connect is that I need to look at the positive things in life not just the negative things in life. An example of that is drama is a small town is just drama. Yes, some of it drives me crazy but if I doesn't hurt me that I don't need to worry about it. I know for me Reba was a piece, learning to trust again was a piece, my true friends are pieces, and so many pieces but I cant wait to figure out the whole. :)

I recently read a little story/blog talking about "What does it mean to really live life to the fullest?" It talks about family, friends, and other things but the whole book is based on a list of ten things. I wanted to share that list with you. I actually was surprised that I have a really similar list of my own like this.

The list was titled "Have you done this today?" 

1. Made a friend smile- A simple smile can brighten anyone's day.

2. Smelled a flower

3. Smiled for yourself 

4. Took a walk, mediate, swing or relax

5. Looked up at the clouds

6. helped a stranger

7. Told someone you love that you love them. 

8. Listen to music

9. Dreamed 

10. Hoped

This list made me think back on the last week and I went through. Alot of them I dont do everyday and makes me wonder if I did would I be a happier person.  Have you done these things today?? I hope that each person who reads this aleast does one or more things on this list everyday! Love you all!!! TTFN, Dream Girl :)

Comment if you would like! I love love reading all the feedback!!!

10 or more top ten lists

Hi Everyone,
So I have a friend that gave me a challenge and what it is is that I have to complete 10 or more top ten list . Yes that is a ten or more separate lists. She told me that this is a great way to get to know someone. The lists can be anything from a simple your top ten movies or can run deep like your top ten dreams. So I decided that I would try this out and share them with you all :) I hope that you learn a little more about me! :)

Top Ten Facts About Me
1. I am 1 of 1000 kids to be born with a disability called Spina Bifida.
2. I'm person that keeps my emotions in too long
3.  I can be a push-over (learning to not be)
4. I let my fears sometimes run my life for the most part. 
5. I hate being used but sometimes don't realize till too late 
6. My true friends are the world to me.. Mess with them and you will see my dark side 
7. I am more of a writer than a talker. I can pour my heart out in a message then I can face to face. 
8. I have two of the best parents a girl could ask for. Even if sometimes I don't think I do. 
9. Music is my life. I have to listen to music everyday!! 
10. I dont trust easily. I have gotten burned too many times. So if I say I trust you please take it to heart. 

Top Ten Books I Have Read (these books I have read recently. I dont always get a chance to read so when i do I sink in the book. I hope they inspire you to pick one of them up and read)
1. Unlimited- Jillian Michaels- this book is a self help book but unlike others she is so unfront with alot of things. I would recommend this book to anyone who has thought they are lost in life.
2. The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks- I love this book. Yes, its a tearjerker but i love a touchy moments sometimes.
3.  Reba:My Story- this is the life story about my hero. It goes into great details of her struggles and triumphs
4. Shania Twain: From this moment on- I recommend this story to anyone who needs a good read about a girl that came from almost nothing and became one of most successful musician in the world.
5. Sleeping Dogs Lie- Rebecka Vigus- If you love a good mystery. I would recommend this book. It has a great story line and pace to it.
6. Dolphin Tales- this is a story of a dolphin that was caught by some fisherman router and got washed up on the shore. She was rescued and lost her tale due to infection. It tells of her incredible determination to live
7. Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling- Yeah I know what your thinking that they are so childish but to be honest I love there story line of mystery and the meaning of love.
8.  Soul Surfer by Bethany Hamilton - This is the story of Bethany Hamilton. She got her arm bite off by a shark but learn to surf again.
9. She Said Yes by Misty Bernall- This is a true story about a girl that was killed in the Columbine School shooting. Great Inspiring book about Faith and Strength.
10. True Love: Three Novels in One by Lurlene McDaniel- Each of these stories are about love, romance, and true meaning of friendship.

Top Ten Fears
1. Forgetting- I have had my share of deaths in my life. Heck when I was little I would being living from one to another. I have this huge fear that I will forget those people especially my Grandma Rita. I cant remember how her voice sounded, her smell, her laugh. It just makes me sad to think its all disappearing.
2. Moving away/Letting Go- This a complicated thing. I want to move away from here. I want to go to warmer weather or maybe Tennessee. The reason stopping me is the fear of what if? What if my shunt screws up? What if something happens and I don't know how to hang it..
3. Not fitting in- This is something I've struggled for a long time. Living with a disability, I've always compared myself to other people.
4. The Unknown (Future)- I am not a good one at new things. I get anxious alot and I actually think too much.
5. Standing in front of people- I have this huge stage fright for as long as I can remember. I can have dreams though that I am standing front of people at talent show and things but I froze even in Public speaking class.
6. Losing people I Love- This is a constant fear because no one is promised tomorrow! One minute they are there and the next they are gone. I just want them all to know I love them so much! I have had to many go and I regret not telling them how much i really needed them.
7. Crawling things- This includes spiders,any rodents, or bugs. They give me the shivers.  
8. Needles- Ive always had a phobia to needles. I am getting better though. I used to flip out just by the sight of them.
9. My Dreams Not Coming True- This is always on my mind. Its scares the crap out of me to never get to give my hero (REBA) a hug and thank her in person. To never get out in the world and make a difference.
10. Failure- I guess this is big fear of alot of people but for me it is huge. I dont like to fail. It hurts too much and when I do fail it feels like a part of me dieing.

Top Ten Music Artist I love           Top Ten Song (recently love)         
1. Reba McEntire                                                            1. I Didn't Know My Own Strength- Whitney H.
2. Kelly Clarkson                                                             2. One Day You Will- Lady Antebellum
3. Brooks and Dunn                                                         3. Its Not Too Late- Demi Lovato
4. Martina McBride                                                         4. Smile- Terri Clark
5. Mickey Utley                                                               5. A Little Want To- Reba McEntire
6. Whitney Houston                                                         6. Over You- Miranda Lambert
7. Lady Antebellum                                                          7. Today is Your Day- Shania Twain
8. Skylar Laine                                                                 8. Why- Rascal Flatts
9. Shania Twain                                                                9. The Living Proof- Mary J. Blige
10. Dolly Parton                                                              10. God Gave Me You- Blake Shelton

Top Ten Random Things on My Bucket List 
1. Getting to spend a day, sit down and get to have a conversation, and be friends with Reba McEntire and other country stars. Maybe go on tour with her someday. (My dream)
2. See something majestic
3. Feel like I belong
4. Travel the world to see sights like Eiffel Tower, Pyramids, and other great sights
5. Meet my true love
6. Make my mark on the world
7. Conquer my fears
8. Figure how to live with Spina Bifida
9. Meet as many country stars as possible
10. Attend the Country Music Award shows

Top Ten Movies of all time (Reba and non Reba) (in my eyes)
Reba Movies                                                    Non Reba
1. Forever Love                                             1. Raise Your Voice
2. Is There Life Out There?                            2. The Day After Tomorrow
3. Tremors                                                     3. Pretty Woman
4. The Secret of Giving                                   4. The Last Song
5.  The Man From Left Field                          5. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
6. North                                                         6. Just Like Heaven
7. The Gambler Returns                                  7. Now and Then
8. The Fox and the Hound 2 (voice of Dixie)   8. Sweet Home Alabama
9. The Little Rascals                                        9. The Lake House
10. Buffalo Girls                                             10. Angel in Training

Top Ten Disney Movies (these I grew up on so they are not included in the movies :) ) 
1. The Little Mermaid (all three of them) (ALL TIME FAVORITE, my parents will tell you I was obsessed)
2. Pocahontas
3. Beauty and the Beast
4. Peter Pan
5. Cinderella
6. Sword in the Stone
7. Pete's Dragon
8. The Hunchback of Notre Dame
9. Aladdin
10. The Jungle Book

Top Ten Quotes of all time 
1. "Growing up doesnt mean making every one dead-beat happy"- Reba
2.  “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. "Watch what you say and do, Little eyes are watching you"- Reba McEntire
4. "Without heroes, we are all plain people, and we don't know how far we can get" -Benard Malamud
5. “The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.” -Oprah Winfrey
6."A Hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to peserve and endure in spite of overwheling obstacles"- Christopher Reeve
7. "Be Different, Stand out, and Work your butt off."- Reba McEntire
8.“Make sure you're always giving, way more than you're taking” - Reba McEntire
9. “I will be thinking of you with positive thoughts and prayers... Hang in there. And PLEASE Continue to "Dream On"” -Reba McEntire to me 
10.“Laughter is timeless. Imagination has no age. And dreams are forever.” -Walt Disney Company

Top Ten Hobbies
1. Listening to music
2. Drawing
3. Swinging
4. Playing with my chihuahuas
5. Visiting with True Friends
6. Reading
7. Writing my blog
8. Making someone's day
9. Craft projects
10. Jigsaw Puzzles

Top Ten Things That Make me Happy
1. My Heroes (Especially Reba Nell McEntire)
2. Music
3. My Dreams
4. Drawing
5. Swinging and listening to music
6. Making someone's day with simple things
7. My doggies Tinkerbelle and Princess
8. My True Friends
9. The Sun shining
10. Waking up know I have a purpose in life.. Not sure exactly what that is but Im excited to find out someday.

There you have it. I did it. I hope that you learn alittle more about me. IF you would like to do a top ten list, they are a great help into helping people get to know you. Post on facebook, Twitter, on paper, or email. Remember to Pay it Forward so that person can also pay it forward :)  I hope you enjoyed my lists! Have a great week!!! Love you all!!! TTFN, DreamGirl

One little word with so much meaning

Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to let you know that I am still here. Some days I wont lie, I wish I wasnt but somehow I pull through one way or another. I just feel like I want to do something.. Just not sure what... Its like being in a tunnel with two ways out and your unsure which way to do go. and so you sit down and ponder. Well I have sat for 11 years now and not sure my next move.

A little while back I went with a friend (Jenna Jones :) ) to have a Spa Day. I knew of this friend in high school but we were never really friends. I connected with her on Facebook. She had ask me if I wanted to have a spa day with her. I was really kinda scared to begin with. I'm self conscious for one. Im not one to wear a bathing suit in front of people. There is always the fear of accidents due to my Spina Bifida. But I took a chance and I agreed to go with her. I had a lot of things that rang through my mind. This happens to every thing I do. But after getting there and relaxing. Realizing that she didnt care about my differences, she just wanted to be a friend. She didn't have to reach out to a complete stranger but I so owe her so much for that day and for being such a sweet person. She is truly one of my best friends now. I honestly had the most fun I have had in a while. I learned that day that I need to quit worrying about the little things and enjoy myself.  So that little story goes into what this post is all about..... Enjoy! 


I wanted to talk about something that is a big topic in my life.. Its a simple thing called Fear. OK, so its not such a simple thing. Its actually a huge complicated thing. So I want to break it down and tell you what scares me the most.


Fear.. One little word with so much meaning.. Fear can be the sweat dripping down your face as you walk along through the woods . Fear is the anxiety of waiting for your report card, so you can grab it first rather then your parents. Fear is all the sharks swimming freely in the ocean while you are swimming. Fear is "a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the existence or presence of danger." A disturbance when danger is around or when you experience jeopardy, you yourself are worried for your well-being and comfort. Fear is a negative emotional state that is a state of mind. A state or condition marked by this feeling, says that it is the stipulation that you are in or that you think of when you are scared. There are many different opinions on the real meaning of the word "fear" and most dictionaries have different examples as well. There are many different types of fears, known as phobias, which are abnormal, or irrational fears of specific things. The word phobia comes from the Greek word, Phobos, meaning fear. The most well known phobia is most likely arachnophobia, which is the fear of spiders. no matter what, everyone experiences fear at some point of their life.

You could experience fear when someone frightens you and they surprise you and you jump in bewilderment. Some people will say that you made their heart stop or something of the sort from being so surprised. Some people scream as loud as possible and quiver. Also some people are so scared that they just stand there like they are frozen. Some people may pass out like in the movies, but that probably doesn't happen often. People who are easily frightened are categorized as "scardy cats." I believe it's because cats are also easily frightened.

Growing up I feared a lot of things like not fitting in anywhere, having accidents in public, not finding friends that are true, and not living up to my parents expectations. I also have a big fear of spiders, rodents, snakes, and sometimes the dark. I feared my parents loved my brothers more because they were athletic and not different like me. I always kinda felt like a burden to my family. I also feared being rejected by people everywhere. I would throw a fit to use a wheelchair places because of the stares I would get. I feared every time I go to Detroit , that they would tell me that I would need surgery. I have what you would call a huge stage fright issue. I am also scared to death of change. Small or big. I have a fear that I wont be able to get to talk to my hero Reba someday (I try not to think of this because I truly believe it will happen but there is always that little voice in your head). Another big one for me is the fear of letting one in my heart again due to the fear of them being taken from me. 

Now that I am grown, I have learned my fears are something that drives my life. I know I shouldn't let them but I'm unsure how to "go out and kick ass" :)  I know for me I hid from fear. Run as far and as fast as I can in the other direction. Yeah, I know that is not what you are suppose to do but I've done it for some many years.  

Many people are asking me about the dentist.. A lot of people are telling its just the dentist.. No big deal... But to be dead honest its a HUGE deal personally for me. I have admitted in previous posts that when my Grandma Rita died I shut down. Well when I was a little girl, we would take trips down to the Dr. Hale's office to get our teeth cleaned and checked. My Grandma was a receptionist at the office. I can remember going in and she would always be there at the counter. She would go back in the room with us too if we wanted. She was there when I honestly was scared out of my mind. She would tell me it will be ok and that after we would go out and have fun. She would tell us funny things to make me smile.  Every time I went to the dentist, she was there. Most people say that I need to just get over it because I am a grown up and she is gone. I cant change that. But its a process Im working with. I remember about a year after she died. Going with my mom to the dentist. I got through the cleaning and such and then couldn't do it anymore and ran out... I never went back to one for almost 10 years! 

 I recently have step foot back into the dentist office. My mom had to work so I went alone. I was scared to death. I walked into the waiting room and sat down. My mom told me to take my IPod to listen to Reba to calm my nerves. (Reba is a huge help in the fear category) The hygienist called my name and I followed her back to the room. There was the chair and all the tools. I sat down and it was like I was sucked into my mind. Pictures of my grandma came into view. Her holding my hand. The last day I saw her.  I stayed calm till it was all over. The dentist came in and told me all I needed done and that set in the fear head on. I walked quietly out to my car. I really wanted to call my mom and cry my eyes out. but I got in my car and drove home. I balled all the way there. Sent a text to my mom. It read "Do you really want to know why I hate going to the dentist?.... She isn't there anymore!" A friend calmed me down over a chat on facebook.. Thank you! You know who you are :)  Its isn't that I hate the dentist. I just didn't want to relive the memories. There is a reason I buried them so far underneath. Especially the sad memories of knowing she will never hold my hand again.

I know that I will not just get over my fears in one day or week or even a year but I am ready to go head on with some of them. Some of them I will have to take them step by step. I ask of my friends, that they continue to help me get through my fears and understand that I am ready to face them but I may need a little or a lot of help to get through them because I give up easier than I should. I need them to know not to give up on me because if they do then I will. Even if I can say it, I need help!   

Here my little piece of advice on fear.. If you cant do it on your own ASK FOR HELP! 

Thank you for reading! TTFN, Dream Girl 

Kreativ Blogger Award

WOW!!! This was a nice surprise for me this afternoon. A HUGE thank you to Rebecka Vigus for nominating me for this award. If you'd like to know more about Rebecka check out her blog at /http://ramblingsbyrebecka.blogspot.com/. Thank you again Ms. Vigus, I'm very humbled and excited .

According to the Kreativ Blogger rules, accepting the award includes the following: 1) Thanking the the blogger who nominated me and providing a link back to their blog. 2) Sharing 10 things about yourself that bloggers might find interesting. 3) Nominating 6 bloggers to receive the award and informing them.

Here goes 10 things about me:


1. I am 22 years old and have a disability called Spina Bifida with Hydrocephlus. Short description of what that is when i was in my mom's belly some of the nerves were exposed and got damaged. I have no feeling in my feet. I have bladder and bowel problems. I wear leg braces. 


2. I love to read, write, hang out with friends, and listen to music. 


3. My hero is Reba McEntire. She saved my life in so many ways. I only wish to get to tell her in person one day! She is a constant comfort in the mess of a world. 


4. I have two chihuahuas named Princess and Tinkerbelle (Belle) They might be called ankle biter but they are the sweetest dogs you will ever meet. 


5. I live day to day with depression. Some days are better than others. Some I just want to hide away but I am learning to over come it. I am learning to let things out instead of keeping it locked inside.  


6. Friends are the world to me. If you learn to look past the disability then I think I am a pretty nice person. 


7. I think teachers are the world. I have alot of friends that are teachers and they are the best people I know. 


8. I get nervous doing new things. My whole body shakes.. and the tears sometimes/usually comes by that time. 


9. My favorite music is country music. Id rather listen to a soft ballad than a head banging song. 


10.  I live each day with small baby steps. I know one day I will get where I am going but for now I will accept the little things in life. 

Here are my nominations 

http://www.yardsaledriveby.blogspot.com. 


http://wwwkennedyrock.blogspot.com/


http://spinabifidakids.blogspot.com/ 


http://kyladedah.blogspot.com/ 

http://thechallegesifaceinlife.blogspot.com/ 


http://savannahsrandoms.blogspot.com/ 


Thank you and have a great day!!! TTFN, Dream Girl <3 

Teachers are what makes the world go around..

Hi Everyone,
Sorry Im late for a post for last week.. But better late than never because it is one of the most important ones.. 
I wanted to honor Teacher Appreication Day/ Week and come to find out that was last week.. So here it goes..


Elementary School- Alot of these years are foggy but i know that each of these teachers are special in their own ways. I love them all with all my heart!!! 

Peter Pan- Kathy Curtis- Love you Aunt Kathy!!!!! 

PreK-2nd grade- Ms.Permonda, Ms. Bulhman, Mrs.Friday, Ms.Slighter- I dont remember much but you have help shape me into the woman I am today! Thank you!! 
3rd grade (both years) Mrs Kathy Green- One word sums her all up HERO!! I love her from the bottom of my heart and always will!! I do miss seeing her everyday though.. but she is the best pen-pal ever!! I wont lie, when she moved away I was one sad girl but I knew that we would stay in touch! <3 
4th grade- Ms.Perry- You are the sweetest. You taught me alot about myself. 
                   Ms.Haviland- I only recently learned that she passed away. I wish I could have told her that she made such an impact on my life. 


MIDDLE SCHOOL- Each one of these teachers taught me so many things in one way or another. Each have special qualities that are amazing as ever. 


5th grade- Mrs.Rossi- I remember the first time I met you.. You were so nice to me and welcoming.. But when you moved away.. I was devastated! Im so glad we reconnected!! Love you! 
                   Ms.Trudell- U taught me so much! You are the most caring person I know! I remember how you helped me in Field day things.. 
6th grade- Ms.Lee- I owe you more than you will ever know.. I know I was (Im not going to sugar coat) a pain in the ass.. I hated P.E. but I am forever grateful for you never giving up on me EVER.. You help me everyday 
                   Mr. Elliott- Youre such an amazing teacher.. you made middle school so fun with all the project you let us do.. You liking Reba was cool too. I miss your hugs!! 
                   Ms.Pennell- Your class was fun to do.. I remember having tons of laughs
                   Ms. Coe- I know Ive stated before that you are just the best.. but you are more than that.. You keep me grounded.. Your stories are timeless.. Your hugs are magic! You are one of the best people Ive met. Im so grateful I can call you a friend/hero. 
7th grade-Mrs.Campbell- You are sweet! You have always been in my corner and I appreciate that so much! 
                  Mrs.Zawacki- Your class was awesome.. I dont remember much but I do remember alot of great stories we read :) 
8th grade-Ms.Scheel- You are so fun. You made me feel so included in everything and still do. You are a true sweetheart!
                Mr. Erickson- You are an amazing science teacher. 8th grade year was such a blast.. one of my favorite years thanks to you! 


Other teachers/parapros -Mrs. Wonicki-Likavec (I love you tons and you know that I appreciate all the support and love from you), Mrs. Allison (thanks for all the help and advice, it is great to see you around sometimes),Mr. Logan (Thanks for helping me get to student aide in Mrs.Green class before she retired, you will never know how much that made my year!) , Mrs.Benjamin (Youre friendship means the world to me! I miss seeing you everyday at school) Ms.Vigus (You one of the sweetest people I Know.. You have helped me in so many ways I cant thank you enough.. I never really had you as a teacher but youve been a wonderful friend this past year!) , Mrs. VanWarmer (You are the greatest! You helped me is so many ways in school! You showed me that I can do anything and I am grateful for you in finding Destiny! I only wish I could have stayed connected with her!)


HIGH SCHOOL- I thank everyone of you for all you did for me.. Some teachers that stood out from all the rest are.....


Mr. Money- Thank you for all the great advice and showing me that teachers care. You are one awesome teacher and I am glad I can call you a friend.


Mrs. Anne Clayton- Thank you for showing me the world of art and helping me with it. I always will treasure those moments in art class. Also thank you for your friendship and guidance


Ms. Maddie Glomski- Thank you for all you did for me in French class. I learn so much from you and am grateful for it! Thank you also for your friendship, kindness, and guidance. You are an amazing support and I appreicate it more than you will ever know.


Mrs.Laurie Rose- You are a sweetheart. You are caring, fun, and so amazing. You showed me that I can write if I put my mind to it..


Other teachers that have impacted my life are Jane Hollingworth (she is family basically! I love her so much! Miss seeing her around!), My mom (she is basically been my hero since day one.. I dont say it as much as i should but she is the best!), and any other one that I missed due to my brain not working lol..


I believe with my whole heart that teachers are the most unappriecated people.. So I am going to take a minute and tell teachers that they matter to me personally.. Each one on this list and ones I may have forgotten are so special to me in their own little way! I love them with all my heart.. They continue to help me each and everyday!! I can only hope that I can live my life like each one of these people because they are true heroes in my book! If you know a teacher, call, Text, facebook, go see in person, them!! They are amazing! I would be where I am and continue to find me without so many of these people!! I love you all!! 


TTFN, Dream Girl 

Three little words.....

Hi Everyone,
I hope that you are having a great night/day! Thank you for taking the time to read this.. It means more than you will ever know..

I'm proud of you.... three little words that can go a long way.. three little words I've only heard a few times.. Growing up with two athletic brothers I usually went to all their sport meets.. I would watch them in awe. I wanted to be like them but I never feel like I belonged in sports.. They would always get done with their game or match. Win another trophy. Everyone would congratulate them and tell them how proud they were.. I longed to hear my parents tell me that they were proud of me.. It hurts not being able to hear that. I always wanted them to be proud of me. My Grandma Rita once told me when I got out of surgery that she was proud of me for hanging in there. It wasn't tell recently that these three little words have come into my world.. For me it means that someone out there really cares what I am doing and it makes me feel like I do have something in this world.

I'm Moving on.. Three words I don't really know how to do.. They tell you when something bad happens to you that you need to learn to move on so you can be happy. All my life I guess I have focused all my attention to all the bad things that have happen to me that I haven't moved on from any of them. I will honestly can tell you right now I don't understand how you move on.. I know you can get by.. I just don't know how to move on without the ones I've lost. I'm slowly learning different things that show me to help me cope but it will take time to learn exactly how to move on..

I love you.. three little words that can make your whole world. These three little words that can actually be three huge words in someone life. I honestly believe if you tell the ones  you love them every chance you get you will not regret if one day they would be taken away.. These words I dont tell someone unless I mean it. I dont like to toss my feeling around like a sack of potatoes.. But honestly tell the ones you love everyday.. If you havent in a long time.. DO IT NOW!

These words or phases can make a difference in someone's life. They actually can save someone's life. But you have to mean them.. Dont just say them.. mean them.. Who knows what you can do in a person's life. Werent we put on this earth to help one another, not hurt each other!

Well Have a great weekend!! If you would like comment on here, twitter, or facebook... Oh and remember to PAY IT FORWARD!!! what goes around comes around!!!
TTFN, DREAM GIRL

one day at a time..

Hi Everyone,
I am a little behind on writing this week but I've had a lot on my mind lately and not sure how to write it all out.. But here is goes..

This last few weeks my life has changed in so many ways emotional and physically and most people wouldn't even know it if they didn't really pay attention. I try everyday to get out and get fresh air.

I've come to realize that it takes time to change. Its not this over night process. Some days I will feel on top of things but others I may fall.  I know for me that I shut down completely that June day when my Grandma Rita died, and kept shutting down as I lost more important people and dealing with different things of life.  It hard to bounce back from all of the things that went on as I was growing up, but I now know that I can get there someday. Its called HOPE. I never had a lot of hope before. I always thought I just would get by day to day and that was it.  I have a amazing support team that when I need them, they are there.

I know I should be out there trying to find a job. There is just piece of me that doesn't want one right now. I have done things since not working at the bakery, that I forgot I could do. I never went to the park to swing because I was always tired and just wanted to go home after work. I take my girls for walks instead of just sitting outside with them. I just don't understand why I should rush out and get some job that would just put me back where I was a lonely, depressed handicapped adult. I know I will need a job soon but as of today I want to work on me and figure out what I pushed away and learn to embrace it. I know what you are thinking, how can I afford things.. well here's a break down.. I get SSI and that pays for my rent, dish network, and phone. I still take a little boy to the bus for extra cash and so that helps with gas... Also I have learn to limit things I buy. I don't need expense things right now.

They say there are many steps to grieving. I have learned that all these years I have been living with the step denial for as long as I can remember. I always thought if I ignore everything that somehow, sometime that it would go back to the past. I thought it would all disappear in time. I know that that is not the case but living that way for as long as I can remember, it sure is hard to confront in head on. It gonna take time to accept all the things that have happen to me including coming to terms with my grandmas death but its a step by step thing. For years I was mad at her for leaving me alone and I was angry with God for taking her away from me and at the family for not letting me say goodbye. Its still to this day kills me that I will never see her face, hear her voice, or feel her hugs anymore. One day I will learn to live with her death, I just have to one step at a time. She is gone and I cant change that but I know that she will continue to live on in my heart.

I have come to realize that I want to help make people realize that having a disability can be hard at times but it is do able. I want to be able to speak for those that cant. Having a disability doesnt make me any much of a different person, it just makes me see things in a different light!

I hope that you all know that I respect, love, and grateful for each person in my life. Thank you for continuing to help me on my journey to finding out who I am. I am going to take it one day at a time. With my friends, dreams, hope, and love someday I will get where I am going but for now I am going to enjoy the ride.

TTFN, Dream Girl

P.S. Remember to pay it forward somehow.. Call/Text/Facebook a friend.. Brighten their day.. Save a life!

ABCs of being a true friend.

Hi Everyone,
Sorry I havent written in a while. Ive been trying to figure out what to write about.. The last few weeks have been an eye opener.. I still have those days that I dont want to get out of bed but they are not an everyday thing anymore. I understand now that its OK to have bad days and not beat myself up about them. I've come to realize too that I cant just sit in my apartment all day either because that just gets my mind to think too much.. I have been walking every chance I get..  I also found out that I love to swing and its great exercise too. I take it day to day and see what that day brings me. It better that way. :)


I have asked myself this question all the time and I've actually spent a lot of thought into it and think I found a cool way to put my spin on it. The question is "How can I show someone I am a true friend?". Well here is my explanation....


What are the ABC's of being a friend . . .
  
Accepts you as you are- It should matter what you wear, drive, or what you look like they love you anyhow.


Believes in "you"- It helps to have someone to have faith in you because in return it helps you believe in yourself


Calls/Texts/Facebook you just to say "HI"- a simple "hi" or "how are you?" makes people know that you are thinking of them and can brighten their day.


Doesn't give up on you- This is a big one. If a person doesnt give up on you then you know not to give up on yourself. 


Envisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)


Forgives your mistakes- Everyone makes mistakes whether big or small but it is learning how to forgive them that makes a friend


Gives unconditionally- Even if its just an ear or a simple hug. We all want to be loved and know that we mean something to someone. 


Helps you- Friends help you whenever they can. They know if you need to be left alone they will but they reassure you that they are there if you need them


Includes you in things- A true friend wont let you sit on the sidelines.


Just enjoys being with you- They will appreciate all the time they spend with you not just hang with you because they feel obligated to 


Keeps you close at heart- This speaks for its self but I know for me. My true friends are close at heart always. 


Loves you for who you are- Everyone wants to be loved for who they truly are not what they do or will do. 


Makes a difference in your life- whether its helping you overcome a event or making you smile.  


Never Judges- People are not perfect. Everyone has flaws but to find a person that looks pass the flaws and to see you for really you is important. 


Offers support- it really explains itself but to help each other out... Isnt that what we were put on this earth for? 


Picks you up- Everyone falls down at times in life but a great thing is to have a hand to get you back on your feet. 


Quiets your fears- Fears sometime can stand in your way of your dreams but when a person steps in and helps you overcome them, its worth while. 


Raises your spirits- Life is full of stress. a friend helps you get a rid of that. 


Says nice things about you- This is true for when that friend is with you or not. You can really tell if someone is a good friend if they dont talk behind your back. 


Tells you the truth when you need to hear  it- Sometime you just need to hear the truth from a friend for it to really sink it. 


Understands you- Only a true friend will see what  you cant explain with words. 


Values you- A friend will see you for your true value not someone who is only worth a little. 


Walks beside you- A true friend wont walk in front or behind you but choose to walk right next to you


X -plain things you don't understand- One person doesn't know everything so when you have someone that can lend you a better understanding of something then only then will you truly understand. 


Yells when you won't listen 


Zaps you back to reality- Sometime you just need that friend that can bring you back to earth


Hope you enjoyed my ABCs. Have a great day and remember to be a "true" friend to someone. Just a simple smile can save a life. Dont wait till its too late to tell that friend that they mean the world to you. Love yall! Share this with your friends!! 


TTFN, Dream Girl 

Holding on to Faith, Friends,and Dreams

Dear Everyone,
I hope that you are having a great night! I really appreciate you and all the people who read these posts. Every person that reads these has been a blessing even if you just read them :) I hope that one day that I can make a difference in someone life just like many people have in mine.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this change thing in life and life in general. Change is one thing that is hard for me to understand or accept. It honestly scares the crap out of me. If you talk to any of my family they will tell you that they don't think that I can change because of how I react to it. I know that if you told me in 2003 that I would be writing a blog with alot of details of my demons I would tell you that you are crazy and no one cares to what I write. I know now that I care what I write and I can only hope that others care too. It comes straight from within me and it true..

I was sitting on a swing a few days ago when it was beautiful out (I hadnt been on a real swing in years)... I put my iPod in my ears and was listening to Reba and others. Everything seem to go away. It was the best feeling in the world... I didn't have to worry about anything. I could honestly sit there for hours.. I got to thinking how in the hell can I get through this? Am I strong enough to fight?  I don't have an answer for these question yet but I know it has something to do with Faith, Friends, Reba and Country Music, and my dreams. If I believe in those even if believing in me is hard I think I can get through.

What most people dont understand is that a person that lives with depression or a disability sometimes live each day with self doubt. Its an issue Ive battled with for years and continue to battle to this day. When I was little I would compare myself to the other kids. If I saw them doing jumping jacks or running a mile. I would try when I would get home in front of the mirror and fail. Then I would keep telling myself I was a loser because I couldnt do a simple jumping jack. I would get discourage when I walked the mile and it took me ten minutes. Living in a small town with no kids that deal with Spina Bifida each day is hard but Ive learn that its not impossible.  

This past week or so has been an eye opener for me (yes the email I got from my hero is the thing that kick this new path in high gear) due to the fact that I am one that is not very good at believing in myself at all. I've always had this issue of not liking who I am. A lot of it stems from having a disability but a lot of it didnt it came from my lack of self esteem. I thought and sometimes still do think that God is punishing me with this disability and taking the people that understood me the most and who I trusted the most. I know I will never understand why I have Spina Bifida but I am working on getting through all my emotions.

A lot of my cousins are what you would say Glamour Girls. Makeup. going out on dates. cleavage. the whole package. I was in so aww of them and a lot of the time jealous. I grew up with brothers who like to get dirty and play in the mud. I tried my hardest to be girly but honestly I hated it. Dresses were the worst for me.. But as I've grown up, I've also decided that its not bad to be girly sometimes.

Im gonna tell you something that I will never forget about being "girly". My brother Jesse married his high school sweetheart Mallissa in October this past year. I was very honored to be one of the bridesmaid in the wedding. But before the wedding I was scared out of my mind. Mallissa had pick out the dress and everything and to me I just didn't think that I would fit into this dress properly. I dreaded this dress and all the came with it. As the day approached I got more nervous. You have all those thoughts of what ifs. Well I got my hair done and everything and got in this dress. I looked at myself and I felt pretty for the first time in a long time. It was kinda like a fairy tale feeling. I didn't worry about walking different or nothing. People weren't looking at me as a disabled person they saw me for me and I could honestly believe it myself that night.  I know it was all about them but that night is a night that I will never forget because for the first time I realize I can be pretty and not feel ashamed.

My brother Jesse and I dancing for the dollar dance. :) 

My friends are the world to me. Even if I haven't seen them in years I know that when I need them they will be there. I never really trusted a lot of people when growing up. I kept a lot of people at arms length. I hid under my shield and blocked anyone that tried to get close. As I continue my journey I learn that friends are what keep us going in life. Yes, there will be those that take and not give but you learn from those and better yourself. I have friends that give me advice, ones I can tell anything to, but I also have ones that are there to teach me lessons. It all depends on trust. I know if I am a true friend to someone even if they don't want me to be then someday I can find those that are true friends to me.

I wont go into much detail with the dreams part because I have a lot in my other posts but I cant stress enough how important your dreams are. Big or small.. It could be a day at the beach with friends or finding a cure for cancer. I know a big one for me is to find who I am and what my purpose is in life.  I also want to actually get to sit down and talk with Reba McEntire someday. Find out exactly what she believes and get her advice with self esteem. Dreams help me day to day to wake up with a smile on my face and know that if I believe it them hard enough and I don't give up that one day I will give my hero and Martina McBride and hug and tell her that even million miles away that she saved my life and that I am forever grateful for that. Also that I will find my purpose in this crazy life. So my advice that I will continue to say is Never and I MEAN NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!

I will be honest some day are a struggle to get out of bed and face the day but if I take it one day at a time. One mountain climb at a time, I'll get there someday.  In my dreams and like most people dreams all things are mostly perfect. But I know that if I continue to believe in faith, friends, my hero, and my dreams I think that I can learn to cope in different ways than I had in the past. There is a saying that says "What goes around, comes around". I believe that if I can help others believe in their selves that I can learn to do that myself.

Thank you again for reading. Leave comments if you wish on here or Facebook and let me know how I'm doing!
TTFN, DREAM GIRL JEN

Dreams can come true if you just believe in them!

Hi Friends,
I hope that you are all well and enjoying your evening.. I wanted to blog what seem like a normal day but turned into one of the days that I will remember forever

I got out of bed really late. I just didn't feel like getting up. I felt kinda lousy. I got up when Lexi came in from school. She suggested we go to Walmart so I agreed. I needed to get out of my apartment. So we headed out. As we got to Campbell Rd my phone rang. I looked at it and it read Keith Allen. I answered it. We chatted for a min. He asked if I could send him my email address. I told him I would. Keith is one of those friends that are very hard to find but when you do, don't let them go. He informed me that he had gotten an email that I definitely would want to read. We chatted for a min or two. I really miss him.  Well lets just say I was really wanting to get home and read this email from Keith. He had me super nervous and excited all at once. So Lexi and I booked it to Walmart and then home.. Fastest walmart trip in world. We got home and I went to my computer.. I read the email... Then I read it twice.. Three times and still couldn't believe what I was reading. Keith's friend got a responds back from Reba. What I didnt notice till Lexi said something was I was crying.  It truly and I mean truly has changed my life in more ways than one. This one email will forever be one of the greatest things I have received. I have printed it out and look at it everyday when I dont think I have the strength to get out of bed. Why you might ask? Well Ill break it down for you..
1. Reba McEntire is my hero. I think she honestly was put in my life to guide me and save it. I thank God everyday for her and what she does!
2. She is a superstar and took the time out her busy schedule to read my blog and write me.. A small town girl with a disability. That shows me she is true to her fans and a very generous person.
3. It shows me that dreams come true if you wish hard enough.

So I ask you.. What is your dream? Do you have one? Are you still wishing on that dream or did you give up. If you have given up PLEASE don't give up, someday they will come true when you least expect them. I know for me I will continue to dream to actually one day to talk to Reba and thank her for helping me believe that life is worth living and heroes are there for you!

TTFN, DREAM GIRL

Running Away/Dating/Interests

Hi Everyone,
OK, so I asked on Facebook what I should write about and so I wanted to write on some of the things some people suggested.

1. Have you ever thought of running away? What keeps you from doing that?

Yes, I have thought of running away from everything. If I could I would be on the first train, plane away from here. There is a sense of comfort in this little town of Rose City though. Maybe its all the people here or the similar surroundings but feels right. I say I cant stand it sometimes and yes I cant sometimes but I love that I'm able to see some of familiar faces of friends. What keeps me from just walking away from everything is people in my life and my insecurity of myself. I've always had those questions like "What if my shunt quits working?", " What if I'm not able to work the job to the best of my capabilities?" and the big one "How can I do it all by myself?" running through my head. I have always ran away from my problems.. I avoid them till they become a real problem.
My advice to a person who is thinking about running away from your problems is talk to someone and get their advice. Friends are put into your life for a purpose.

2. What are your hobbies and interest?

I like a lot of things that are I guess in the category of creative. I have come to love to scrapbook Acorn Buddy Camp pictures for the last 11 years. I love how I can make a page that tells a story. I do believe a picture is worth a 1000 words. I like to do little projects for friends. I like knowing that I can make something for them and make them smile. My true friends mean the world to me. I love to write them and let them know I think of them everyday. I love receiving mail back from them. It makes it all worth while <3

I took my first art class in high school and fell in love with being able to draw things. I love to draw some people and designs. Mrs. Anne Clayton showed me a lot about Art and drawing that I never knew I could do. I love how she taught and never judge you on how well you did.

I also am a music fanatic. Most of you know if you have read some of my other blogs I admire Reba McEntire. I just love her drive, honesty, and her compassion.  I love country music but I also love a song that can tell a story. When I can I love to go to concerts. I love how the person can catch the attention of all the people and how you can go through so many emotions in every set. I always would imagine myself on stage with them and singing along. I do however have a very deep case of stage fright though. I have a dream to be able to travel with Reba for a tour. I dont know what I would want to do but its a dream. I been fortunate to be able to have seen a lot of my favorite stars live (most were opening acts for others) Reba McEntire (11) Martina McBride (5), Mickey Utley (1) Shania Twain (1), Kellie Pickler (1), Lady Antellbum (1), George Strait (1), Lee Ann Womack (1), The Band Perry (1), Trace Adkins (1), Terri Clark (1), Brad Paisley (1), Steel Magnolia (1), and Eden's Edge (1). I watch all the country music things that go on TV. I guess you can say I'm a Country Girl Forever.

I am also a person who loves TV. I love shows like The Biggest Loser, The Nanny, CSI, Reba (only ran for 6 yrs), The Voice, Disney Channel. It makes me escape the world I think. When I was younger though I was a Disney movie person all the way. I know I have said this once before but  my favorite movie is The Little Mermaid. I just think that Ariel is me. I'm also a sucker for a happy ending :)

3.What do you do in your spare time?
Spare time.. what exactly does this mean. We all have this one life to live and I think every minute of your life is precious. I know being down a dark path that I needed to cling onto something or I wouldn't get out of the direction I was going. I didn't realize back then that there was light at the end of this tunnel.

I know for me I sleep too much. If I could I would sleep my life away but I know I cant do that. It comes from how I've dealt with depression too. I always thought what is the point of getting out of bed. No one cares what I do anymore. I used to skip school just to sleep all day. I know now that its only sometimes good to sleep a lot.

4. What is your thought process on dating?

Honestly dating is something I actually avoided. Being a girl with a disability and low self esteem (Yes, I have come to admit it), I always have thought that I wasn't good enough for anyone. My opinion though as far as pursuing dating later in life is that I think I need to get me together and figured out before I will step out in the real dating scene. I also have the thoughts that you truly don't need a man to be happy.

I guess I haven't had the best experiences in the "dating" scene. When I was younger, I can remember having been asked out by a boy in middle school. I was on cloud 9. We talked everyday on the phone. Never really went out on a "date". Come to find out that he made a bet with a friend that he could go out with me for a week. I was crushed. After he called and told me that it was through. I decided from then on out I wasn't good enough for any boy. Another try on dating for me is I was online and met a boy from Saginaw. We had decided that we would wait for about a year before meeting. He knew I had a disability and we had pics of each other. I thought he was a real gentlemen. Long story short a friend tricked me into meeting him at the mall in Saginaw. I really thought it went well but on Easter he called and told me he didn't think it wasn't working out. When I asked him why he said that he didn't think I wasn't the girl for him. Come to find out it was because he didn't like my appearance. So you can say I really havent had a "real" boyfriend.  So I'm not really sure how to go out and find a guy. Maybe someday I will find the "one". But as of right now I need to find me first. 

5. What keeps you getting up to face the day?
Friends. Reba. Dreams. Faith.


Thank you to all of you for your questions. Keep them coming!! Love you all!! TTFN, DREAM GIRL