Saturday, December 10, 2011


Hi Everyone,

I hope everyone is having a great night and getting excited for christmas! Ive been good. Ive been trying to keep myself busy with craft, hanging with my puppies, and other things.

So I am hearing that there are alot of people that want to know the REAL story behind me idolizing Country superstar Reba McEntire. So here it goes........

I really didnt know who Reba was at first. I have loved Country Music since I can remember but I was into people like George Strait, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, and others. I knew of some of Reba's songs when I heard them but never knew her name.

There is a song that I listen to when I get sad, feet lonely, or feel out of place. I listen to it and it is like she is telling me that she will always be there when I need her. The song is called "I'll Be". I never knew who sang it till after my grandma died but when I listen to it, I would pretend Reba was singing it to me and I would feel like she was wiping my tears away and telling me it would be ok. I would play it in the hosiptal when I would have surgery for my shunt. It would make the pain go away. It was a song that when I heard it everything seem to be right.  

The year was 2000. My grandma Rita just passed away from cancer. I sank, I mean DEEP sank. I didnt want to be near anyone anymore. I believed that if I got near someone or told them of the way I felt they would be taken from me. I never thought that I would find the light at the end of the tunnel. I was going through my mom cds one day and came across the cd called Reba McEntire's "For My Broken Heart". I listen to it and instantly the raw emotion and something about her voice gave me hope and strength. It was almost like sign.

As the years past there were times I got really depressed and lonely. I did think about hurting myself. It was when someone would laugh at me, I would have an accident at school or home, or just a agruement with my parents. I would get frustrated enough at myself and the world and just wanted to let it all go. Most times it was the thoughts of who cares, why did God make me this way?, no one wants me, or I want to see Grandma again that would run through my head. I never actually got to the point of phyiscally hurting myself. There was always something that made me stop.. Some of the time I would get ready to just end it all and her song would come on the radio or I would get a glimpse of Reba's picture on my wall and it was like she was telling me to hold on once more. I would stop and then cry myself to sleep. This is going to sound kinda weird but when I would get frustrated enough and needed to talk I would sit in my room and talk to her picture. She became my best friend that would never leave me. I thought maybe somehow she was listening. It gave me alittle comfort thinking that way.  

Over the years and more incidents like that would make my respect and love for Reba grow. She became my hero because her determination, kindness, and ambition. She brings so much emotion in her songs, you feel like she is singing your life story. I bought all of her cds, videoes, and other items. I thought the more things I had of hers the safer I would get.   

Alot of people ask me how you can love someone so much and you've only met her for about 3 mins. Well she is the one person i credit with saving my life. Depression is a hard thing to deal with day to day. Ive also hear alot of people ask me "Why not talk to your parents or tell someone you know?". Well my parents arent the easiest to talk to about things. There wasnt alot out there for parents about Spina Bifida back when I was a kid. So they were honestly I think not sure of how to deal with me. They also had two other kids to raise. Yes, I sometimes felt like the kid that didnt belong. Its not easy telling your parents that your hurting or anyone for a matter of fact. So I turn to a woman that may never know or remember I exist but she continues to show me so many things daily but most importantly that I have to believe to hold on and dream. Reba is everything I wish I could be and more.  
I wish, pray and hope one day to be able to tell her how she has helped me.

Thank you for reading and share if you would like. Have a great night everyone!  If you would like to ask questions or leave comments you can if you wish! TTFN


  1. You're a strong person. It's so good to hear that you were able to find solace rather than hurting yourself. Keep on writing, girlie!

  2. Doesn't matter, who or why, just that you have found hope and comfort. Don't let that go. Going to share this.