Sunday, August 19, 2012

That time of year again!

Hi Everyone,

I hope that you all had a great week. I know I haven't been the most talkative on here lately. Truth is that I am so unsure of things that are happening and trying to figure them all out. A lot of you might have heard me say that this summer has been a bummer and this is true in so many ways but I have come to realize that it has been a summer of learning. I might have not been doing things I wanted to but I have done things I needed to do. 

This past week was the annual Ogemaw County Fair. I have went to the fair for as long as I can remember and have had so many great memories there. This week was some of the most fun I have had in a while. I dont how many times I was asked this year of What are your favorite memories of the Ogemaw County Fair? So here are some of all time favorites.. 

My childhood memories are all just bits and pieces. Remembering the boys doing pigs all those years. Getting run over by them so many times. The pigs not my brothers. I have flashbacks of Grandma taking us out there. Riding the rides. Getting up for barn duty when I did rabbits. Freezing (stage fright) when I had to show my rabbits. Those memories will always be there even in bits and pieces. 

Swine Barn Fair 2012

One of my ultimate favorite memories that keeps me smiling and loving life is seeing Ms.Kathy Green and Ms. Harriett H. Coe at the fair. Memories of these two are the best I love talking about life with them. There is never a dull moment with these two. I guess that is why admire them so much! One year we went to the tractor pulls together and it was so much fun. I gave them each a license plate one year. It was so great to see their faces. Ms.Coe put her on her truck and it would make me smile seeing it when I would see her going around town. Another time I remember walking around after the talent show and we saw them in the Antique villiage and my parents and I stood around talking about things that they remember with both of them. It was a nice time to listen to all the stories and such! The past two year Ms.Coe hasn't been able to attend and I know how much she wished she was there but sometimes life throws curve balls. She definently was in my thoughts and other too! We love you Ms.Coe!!  They will always be a huge part of my life and the 
Ogemaw County Fair!
This picture of Ms. Coe, Mariah and I was taken at my brother
Jesse's wedding Oct 2011 <3

The year was 2004. I went to my first concert ever in May. It was Shania Twain. I attended my first Reba concert and had just met my hero, Reba McEntire in July. My mom had told me how she had gotten the back stage passes and I wanted to Thank whoever it was that made me realize that dreams can come true and that they are not just for dreaming. So I printed the picture of Reba and I out and got the information that I needed.. Keith Allen was going to be at the Ogemaw County Fair for 94.5 the Moose. The day arrived that he would be there. I was lets just say a little nervous. I didn't know what to say or nothing. I walked up to the booth and I had seen picture of him so I knew it was him. He put my nerves to ease. He was the nicest guy ever. I gave him the photo and thank him so much for the opportunity. We chatted for a bit. One thing Keith didn't realize is that day I began to dream again. I knew Reba was special in my life and knew that with her I could find the light at the end of my dark tunnel. After that day I couldn't wait till the next year to see him again and tell him all about my concerts and things I had been up too. I had found a true friend! He went to a different radio station a few years later and it makes me sad that I don't get to see him any more at the fair but those years I did get to see him there will stay with me forever. 

This picture was taken July 22, 2004 at Soaring Eagle Casino and Resort!  

This year at the fair has been one full of laughs, smiles, and sadness (knowing Ms.Coe wouldn't be there) all wrapped up in one. I went out Tuesday,Wednesday, and Saturday. 

I knew that 94.5 the moose was going to be there again and the last few years I have missed them out there but I was prepare this year. I showed up about an hour after I knew they would be there. I had cousins Mariah and Ashley with me so they could see the fair with me for a while. I knew the DJ was going to be Miss Jodi K. I have meet her a few times and we talk a lot on Facebook. She is one of my heroes for sure. I was super excited to see her and talk for a few. She gave me a poster and sticker that she autographed. :) I got my picture taken with her because I didn't have one with her at all. We chatted for a few mins. Best time ever!! She made all the disappointments of summer disappear in an instant! Wishes do come true!!  I am so lucky to have amazing heroes!! 

One of my heroes Jodi K at the Ogemaw County Fair 2012! Love you Jodi K!!!

I also got to spend sometime with Mrs.Green this year. She moved to WI a while back and doesn't get here often anymore so I was really looking forward to seeing her again! She is one of the sweetest ladies in the world. We saw each other on Tuesday for a bit. Then I didn't catch up with her till Thursday and we went to Sunrise for lunch. We chatted about what I am up to and how things are changing for me. She gives the best advice. I love spending time with her. Her hugs also have that magic touch that makes the world seems so bright! I'm so lucky to have her in my life. 

My cousin Alex and I also spend some time together on Wednesday. It was a blast. He offered to push my wheelchair so that was sweet. We did the paint and take thing which was so much fun. I couldnt believe how much he knew about painting. We then went around the fairgrounds. It was just fun to hang out and not worry about school and life. We shared a bunch of laughs! 

Alex painting the eyes of my dolphin at the paint and take tent  Fair 2012 

Another best part of fair this year was sharing some of it with my best friend Jenna Jones and meeting her boyfriend. I looked for her most of the day not knowing what time they would get there. They got there just before the Talent Show on Saturday. I saw her walk by and yelled her name. She always knows how to brighten my day! She gave me a hug and introduce Robby. Very nice guy! I am so incredibly happy for her! She deserve only the best always! We were going to meet up afterward but I never did see them again that night. I looked all around but never saw them. I didn't really know what else to do so I went to my car about 10pm. I was a bit disappointed but I know that we will hang again soon!! Jenna has helped me so much this summer and she makes the summer worth it! I am so blessed she came into my life! I hope to have her continued support and  love because she helps me get out of bed each day thankful for life! 

This picture of Jenna and I  was actually taken a few weeks ago at
 Applebees in West Branch!  Didnt get one at the fair 

I know another year has gone by but the memories at the fair last a lifetime! Life maybe a roller coaster but having friends, heroes, family makes the ride a joy not a fear!  I hope you enjoyed reading about the Ogemaw Fair and if you get a chance to check it out next year! It is super fun!! TTFN, Jen 

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Blog Award! Please read :)

On August 5, 2012 RamblingsbyRebecka nominated Dreamsofalostgirl for the Liebster Award. I am honored to receive this award.

 What is the Liebster Blog Award? 
“The Liebster Blog Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. The Meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome.” Wow! What a mouthful! Thank you RamblingsbyRebecka for honoring me in this way!
As with all blog awards, there are 'rules' so I will proceed with the 11 questions RamblingsbyRebecka left for me to answer: Most of these I have covered but I love writing about them :) 

1) What is your biggest dream?

Since I was a little girl I have always wanted to go to the Academy of Country Music. Now that Reba came into my life, my dream is to present her with the Guardian Angel Award. When I was 11, I made this cut of an angel thing and wrote her name on it. I have kept it for all these years and decided then that I would find a glass angel and inscribe her name on it. Also I would like to have a face-to-face conversation for a few hours, maybe a day! (Honestly if I could just get the face-to-face conversation, i would in seventh heaven) 

My other Biggest dream is like any other. To find my purpose in life. To make a difference. To make my mark. To matter!

2) Do you have a plan for making it happen?
Live day by day and keep my dreams alive. Never give up

3) What keeps you going when you want to give up?
 Hope, Faith, True Friends, Reba, family 

4)Who are your favorite musicians and why?
Reba McEntire is my ultimate favorite because of her determination, passion for music, her dedication to her fans and her hard work. I believe she was sent to be in my life to save it. Most people know the story now that I started this blog but it much more than that. She is a true guardian angel.  I love country music in general. Martina McBride is another one of my favorites. Her voice is so powerful and she sings with a passion only some people have. Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Dolly Parton, Johnny  Cash, Loretta Lynn, Garth Brooks, Mickey Utley are some of my all time favorites too! If the song has a great message, I will listen to it :) <3 

5) If you could invite anyone at all to dinner who would it be and why?
This is another easy one.. One Answer.. REBA NELL MCENTIRE.. because that would make me the most amazing girl in the universe ever!! (DREAM)

6) What's one thing you'd like to change about the world?
There are so many on this list. One major one is that I want people to love each other for whats on the inside not what is on the outside. It shouldn't matter if you have a disability or not. It shouldnt matter what skin color you have, what you drive, what you weight, or what you believe. I would like every child to have a home, family, and food. I want people to also open there eyes to the effects of how you treat other people. We all have our issues so dont slam someones dreams because you dont like theirs. I wish all my friends dreams come true and they never lose sight of them! <3 

7)What is one small thing you can change?
They way I look at the world. Try to stay positive and help out where ever I can. Give more than I take. 

8) Where do you see yourself in five years?
I hope to be somewhere in the country music field. Working with Reba or another big country act wouldnt be too much to ask :) Living somewhere on the beach. Basically living my dreams, Finding my destiny! 

9) Who do you most admire and why?
I admire so many different people some famous and some non(famous in my eyes). They all have touched my life in some way. 

Reba McEntire- because she is my hero. She has helped me through so much that I really didnt think I would ever Survive!    

My MOM and DAD- for putting up with all my crap all these years.  

Teachers (Ms.Vigus, Mrs.Glomski, Ms.Lee, Mrs.Campbell, Mrs.Clayton, etc.)- they do so much for this world and dont get alot of credit. Every single one of these teachers have given me so much in life and I owe them so much! I love every single one of them with all my heart!! 

Mrs.Green- she has stood by me since I was in her third grade class so many years ago. She is a true example of a true friend. She will always hold a special place in my heart!

Ms.Coe- Like Mrs.Green she has stood by me and helped me realize so much in life is better if only you look at the positive side of thing! I also admire her love and dedication to her mom and the rest of her family. 

Jenna Jones- She is a girl that has shown me so much this year and has opened my eyes to so much! She honestly is the definition of what a hero is!  She is a very hard worker and is so passionate about her dreams! With all she does, she helps me to understand friendship, kindness. Jenna has helped me overcome some things I honestly thought I wouldn't get through! She is a true livesaver!  She is such an inspiration to me!! I love her like a sister and would do anything for her! 

Keith AllenHe is the definition of a hero. He has shown me that if I wish enough and believe in my dreams they will come true. He was the one that had a hand in letting me meet my hero, Reba McEntire on July 22, 2004. He has always been there for me and believed in my dreams. I am so grateful this guy came into my life. He is not only a hero, he is a true friend.

The Moose Crew (Jodi K., Jim Biggins, Joby Phillips)- They amazing DJs are heroes to me! They showed me dreams come true with helping me meet Reba! They show me amazing strength, friendship, and kindness! They are very funny and fun to be around! I admire the way they live their lives! I love them all! 

10) What one thing about yourself would you share?
I am not a quitter but I am a working progress. I may slip and fall and it actually might take me a while to get up but I will always get back up! I will never forget my dreams and will always cherish my true friends!! <3 

11) Which is more important making millions or making a change?
Making a change of course. You get one life and we are here to help one another. If along the way you make a million then hey you are doing a pretty darn good job! 

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Letters to God/To Save A Life

Hi Everyone,

I hope everyone has been having a great life. I know I have been neglecting this blog. I am so sad that I have. This blog means the world to me. I have wrote things down here that I didn't think anyone who care about but they are my true feelings.

The past few weeks have been a true whirlwind. So much I'm learning and trying to understand. I'm still trying to figure out this life and what my true purpose is in it.

Here something I just don't understand and never will. It has been racking my brain about it.  When I was a kid, I never had a cell phone, IPOD, Cable TV(we got when I was in middle school) and etc. Kids nowadays are getting these things younger and younger. Why does a 6 year old need a cell phone? Teens nowadays are getting worse and worse. What bugs me the most is that they can't have there phones off for more than 10 mins. All I see them do is text, text, call,text. In my mind they aren't really there. Why would you go to someone's house to hang out and then just be on your phone. I could care less to have my on. Yes, I will admit I like texting over talking but text messaging can be so misunderstood sometimes. It can tell the person really how you feel. I didn't get my cell till I moved into my grandparents house and then I only got it  for when my parents needed to get a hold of me. I didn't have internet on it or nothing I just think that kids nowadays have no Respect for others at all especially adults. Most parents don't see it though. I wish parents would stop trying to be there best friends and set down some rules. I thank my parents everyday for the rules they gave us. I may have hated them back then but I understand now why. <3 

I also think that we are losing interaction between people. Now we Twitter, Facebook, and other devices we talk through. I love sending out letters to friends. Its so much more personal. I love getting
mail still. It makes me feel loved and appreciated. Through the computer there isn't much thought put into it. I wish people would write letters that you mail more.

I watched a few movies lately and I would like to talk to you about them and get your insight on them as I think they opened my eyes to a lot of things. They made me question life..

The first movie is called "Letters to God". It is based on a true story about Tyler Doherty who is battling cancer. To Tyler, God is a friend, a teacher, and the best pen-pal. Tyler mails a letter/prayer to God everyday. When his regular mail man goes on vacation. Brady McDaniels steps in. Brady is a drunk who has has made a lot of mistakes in life and not sure where to turn. At first he is confused on what to do with the letter for God. The decision he makes becomes a testament to the quiet power of one boy's journey of life and his faith. This tranformation shines through the whole town.

This movie really moved me in ways I didn't think I could feel. Its not that I don't believe in God because I do. Its been a hard road though. When I was younger I couldn't understand why God would make a girl that isnt the fittest or cant walk or go to the bathroom normally. Then when people began to pass away that I had turned to I thought God was punishing me for not accepting my disability. My Grandma Rita was my best friend, even though she didnt know. As I watched her slowly slip away, I began to get angry with God. It was like my last straw. I shut down to everything around me and believed that he was really punishing me now. How could he take a woman that needed to be here away. I have always believe in angels. I believe there a people placed in your life for a reason. Good or bad. You just have to open your heart and understand.

Here is my letter to God inspired by the movie..

Dear God,
Im writing you this because seems like lately I forgotten how to prayer. I know I dont need this pen but everyone like a letter now and then. I dont understand a person as big as you need anything from a person like me.

I know I will not find all the answers to the questions I have. But I know I can still ask. Why did you make disabilities like Spina Bifida? Is it to make people understand that even though Im different I am just like them.  I know I should be strong and someday I will understand but right now I dont understand it. Why do people treat people badly? How can we let a child starve or let people kill each other? It breaks my heart to see this. Every child should have a home and food to eat. every person should be about to live life. Why do bad things happen to good people.

Im so sorry for being angry with you for taking my grandma away that June day. I know there is a meaning for everything that is going on in my life. I just need to open my heart and not shut it down again. I just dont understand why it had to be her.

Thank you for sending me my earth angels.  Tell my grandma that I miss her more than the world itself. Tell her that I understand now why I found that cd of Reba's that day I wanted to end it all. It was her saying that I need to hang on to better things and not to forget my dream. Tell her that I realize that I need the people that come into my life. Tell her that I understand why i care so much for Ms.Coe and Mrs.Green. They are family. They cant replace her but they are amazing at supporting and loving me. :) Thank you for sending Jenna my way. She is the best. She is helping me trust again. You always know who I need! I realize now that true friends do exist and that they will always be there!
Please send an angel to watch over ever single person that needs one and everyone of my true friends. Love always     
                                                         Sincerely, Jen Evans

The other movie that I have came across is "To Save a Life". Jake Taylor was a teen with a dream. He is the type of guy you couldn't help but like. Jake thought life was good. He had a ton of friends, a basketball scholarship, a hot girlfriend and a really bright future. Not too much to worry about?  Roger Dawson. He was Jake’s childhood best friend before Jake’s growing popularity pushed him out. Tired of not fitting in and not having a place to belong, Roger walks onto campus and, with a gun in his pocket and pain in his heart, makes the decision he thought was right. Shooting a few rounds in the ceiling of the school and then killing himself. Jake is devastated by what Roger has done, and something in him changes. In seeking answers in his own life, one question plagues him the most: Could he have saved Roger? He finds himself deeply compelled to reach out to kids on the fringe – kids who aren't viewed as cool enough. But this decision among other things, threatens Jake’s world. He may lose his friends, his scholarship and even his reputation by asking “What do I want my life to be about?” 

This movie, yes has a strong religion background but its much more than that. It made my heart ache because I know the way Roger felt. I felt the same way and sometimes still do. Feeling of loneliness and guilt. Not knowing where you are going in life. Getting judged by others and yourself. Not knowing where to turn or who to turn to. You think that the only way to relieve your pain is to end it. For me I was really close. By really close I mean rope in my hand or pills in my hand. But unlike Roger I found heroes (Reba and others), dreams, and realized how many people really do care. Its so sad because what happened to Roger is a real thing. Bullies exist in so many ways. Many people are so blinded to the ones that hurt or are hurting someone. Bullies do more than physical damage. A person that doesn't think highly of themselves as it is usually are the targets of bullies.  It hurts to be tease, judged, to not think you matter. If every one would reach out their hand like Jake did in this movie we wouldn't have so many teen suicides or suicides in general. I believe we are so wrapped up in ourselves that we dont know how to reach out that helping hand. Every 14.2 minutes someone in the United States dies by suicide. Nearly 1,000,000 people make a suicide attempt every year. If you know someone or are someone that is thinking that you have had enough or can't do it anymore please please call suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255 or reach out to them. People needed to know they matter to someone!!

So I recommend these movies to anyone who wants a great movie. They have taught me so much and that I guess is why I love watching movie that inspire me instead of movies that are about killing, zombies, sex, drugs, and other things. Yes, sometimes I want a comedy but for the most part I love inspirational movies.

I hope the person reading this knows that I love them very much and appreciate them so much! TTFN, Jen

P.S. If you ever have questions or ideas for a blog post PLEASE comment or write me on Facebook, Twitter, or email me!! <3