Friday, March 23, 2012

Dreams can come true if you just believe in them!

Hi Friends,
I hope that you are all well and enjoying your evening.. I wanted to blog what seem like a normal day but turned into one of the days that I will remember forever

I got out of bed really late. I just didn't feel like getting up. I felt kinda lousy. I got up when Lexi came in from school. She suggested we go to Walmart so I agreed. I needed to get out of my apartment. So we headed out. As we got to Campbell Rd my phone rang. I looked at it and it read Keith Allen. I answered it. We chatted for a min. He asked if I could send him my email address. I told him I would. Keith is one of those friends that are very hard to find but when you do, don't let them go. He informed me that he had gotten an email that I definitely would want to read. We chatted for a min or two. I really miss him.  Well lets just say I was really wanting to get home and read this email from Keith. He had me super nervous and excited all at once. So Lexi and I booked it to Walmart and then home.. Fastest walmart trip in world. We got home and I went to my computer.. I read the email... Then I read it twice.. Three times and still couldn't believe what I was reading. Keith's friend got a responds back from Reba. What I didnt notice till Lexi said something was I was crying.  It truly and I mean truly has changed my life in more ways than one. This one email will forever be one of the greatest things I have received. I have printed it out and look at it everyday when I dont think I have the strength to get out of bed. Why you might ask? Well Ill break it down for you..
1. Reba McEntire is my hero. I think she honestly was put in my life to guide me and save it. I thank God everyday for her and what she does!
2. She is a superstar and took the time out her busy schedule to read my blog and write me.. A small town girl with a disability. That shows me she is true to her fans and a very generous person.
3. It shows me that dreams come true if you wish hard enough.

So I ask you.. What is your dream? Do you have one? Are you still wishing on that dream or did you give up. If you have given up PLEASE don't give up, someday they will come true when you least expect them. I know for me I will continue to dream to actually one day to talk to Reba and thank her for helping me believe that life is worth living and heroes are there for you!


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Running Away/Dating/Interests

Hi Everyone,
OK, so I asked on Facebook what I should write about and so I wanted to write on some of the things some people suggested.

1. Have you ever thought of running away? What keeps you from doing that?

Yes, I have thought of running away from everything. If I could I would be on the first train, plane away from here. There is a sense of comfort in this little town of Rose City though. Maybe its all the people here or the similar surroundings but feels right. I say I cant stand it sometimes and yes I cant sometimes but I love that I'm able to see some of familiar faces of friends. What keeps me from just walking away from everything is people in my life and my insecurity of myself. I've always had those questions like "What if my shunt quits working?", " What if I'm not able to work the job to the best of my capabilities?" and the big one "How can I do it all by myself?" running through my head. I have always ran away from my problems.. I avoid them till they become a real problem.
My advice to a person who is thinking about running away from your problems is talk to someone and get their advice. Friends are put into your life for a purpose.

2. What are your hobbies and interest?

I like a lot of things that are I guess in the category of creative. I have come to love to scrapbook Acorn Buddy Camp pictures for the last 11 years. I love how I can make a page that tells a story. I do believe a picture is worth a 1000 words. I like to do little projects for friends. I like knowing that I can make something for them and make them smile. My true friends mean the world to me. I love to write them and let them know I think of them everyday. I love receiving mail back from them. It makes it all worth while <3

I took my first art class in high school and fell in love with being able to draw things. I love to draw some people and designs. Mrs. Anne Clayton showed me a lot about Art and drawing that I never knew I could do. I love how she taught and never judge you on how well you did.

I also am a music fanatic. Most of you know if you have read some of my other blogs I admire Reba McEntire. I just love her drive, honesty, and her compassion.  I love country music but I also love a song that can tell a story. When I can I love to go to concerts. I love how the person can catch the attention of all the people and how you can go through so many emotions in every set. I always would imagine myself on stage with them and singing along. I do however have a very deep case of stage fright though. I have a dream to be able to travel with Reba for a tour. I dont know what I would want to do but its a dream. I been fortunate to be able to have seen a lot of my favorite stars live (most were opening acts for others) Reba McEntire (11) Martina McBride (5), Mickey Utley (1) Shania Twain (1), Kellie Pickler (1), Lady Antellbum (1), George Strait (1), Lee Ann Womack (1), The Band Perry (1), Trace Adkins (1), Terri Clark (1), Brad Paisley (1), Steel Magnolia (1), and Eden's Edge (1). I watch all the country music things that go on TV. I guess you can say I'm a Country Girl Forever.

I am also a person who loves TV. I love shows like The Biggest Loser, The Nanny, CSI, Reba (only ran for 6 yrs), The Voice, Disney Channel. It makes me escape the world I think. When I was younger though I was a Disney movie person all the way. I know I have said this once before but  my favorite movie is The Little Mermaid. I just think that Ariel is me. I'm also a sucker for a happy ending :)

3.What do you do in your spare time?
Spare time.. what exactly does this mean. We all have this one life to live and I think every minute of your life is precious. I know being down a dark path that I needed to cling onto something or I wouldn't get out of the direction I was going. I didn't realize back then that there was light at the end of this tunnel.

I know for me I sleep too much. If I could I would sleep my life away but I know I cant do that. It comes from how I've dealt with depression too. I always thought what is the point of getting out of bed. No one cares what I do anymore. I used to skip school just to sleep all day. I know now that its only sometimes good to sleep a lot.

4. What is your thought process on dating?

Honestly dating is something I actually avoided. Being a girl with a disability and low self esteem (Yes, I have come to admit it), I always have thought that I wasn't good enough for anyone. My opinion though as far as pursuing dating later in life is that I think I need to get me together and figured out before I will step out in the real dating scene. I also have the thoughts that you truly don't need a man to be happy.

I guess I haven't had the best experiences in the "dating" scene. When I was younger, I can remember having been asked out by a boy in middle school. I was on cloud 9. We talked everyday on the phone. Never really went out on a "date". Come to find out that he made a bet with a friend that he could go out with me for a week. I was crushed. After he called and told me that it was through. I decided from then on out I wasn't good enough for any boy. Another try on dating for me is I was online and met a boy from Saginaw. We had decided that we would wait for about a year before meeting. He knew I had a disability and we had pics of each other. I thought he was a real gentlemen. Long story short a friend tricked me into meeting him at the mall in Saginaw. I really thought it went well but on Easter he called and told me he didn't think it wasn't working out. When I asked him why he said that he didn't think I wasn't the girl for him. Come to find out it was because he didn't like my appearance. So you can say I really havent had a "real" boyfriend.  So I'm not really sure how to go out and find a guy. Maybe someday I will find the "one". But as of right now I need to find me first. 

5. What keeps you getting up to face the day?
Friends. Reba. Dreams. Faith.

Thank you to all of you for your questions. Keep them coming!! Love you all!! TTFN, DREAM GIRL

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Hi Everyone, 

Sorry I haven't wrote in so long. Due to the weather we have been having my internet has been being not very nice. I am doing OK. Some days are better than others. I still have those nights that are terrible. Im slowing learning to look at the little things in life instead of looking at the negative side of everything. The girls (my chihuahuas Belle and Princess) and I would love to have spring. Snow and I don't mix very well.  Tonight topic is one that has been on my mind for a while now. 

Hope........ What is hope? Is it a women who defeated breast cancer and relapse and determined to beat it again? Is it thinking that someday things get better? Is it a person battling depression wanted to wake up with a smile on their face?

Hope is really just a feeling. When you think all is lost and you still think there is something to live for that is hope. Hope is living, hope is the one thing that separates us from animals. When we think something positive will happen to us, that is hope. When someone is thinking of suicide but decides that tomorrow is another day and that it can get better, that is hope. Hope is having something to look forward to even if you see only darkness. 

Here a poem from Emily Dickinson that is about hope: 



"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land
And on the strangest sea,
Yet never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Hope is different for all people.. For a family with a little kid battling cancer it is at St. Jude Children Research Hospital. A woman working two jobs and coming home looking into her child eyes. A college student slaving away with homework and then graduating that is hope. Hope is found in the most tragic moments of life too. Losing a love one but finding comfort in a  friend is a example of when you can find hope.  

For me Hope can be small things and big things in life. On the days I didn't think I could go on anymore, finding hope in Reba and other people and making me what to go on with life. Seeing messages from friends just saying hi that is what makes me have hope. I have hope that one day I will figure where I belong. I have hope that my dream that I can speak to Reba McEntire will come true. Hope is what keeps me going day to day. Without hope I don't think I could live. Finding hope is one of the many challenges in ones life. 
Heres another poem I found about hope:

Hope is a warm blanket

In the winter night.

Heavy winds might shake it
But you'll hold it tight.

If they ever took it,
You would feel so cold.
Hope is a warm blanket
Left for you to hold.

Thank you for reading. If you would like to leave a comment you can here or on Facebook :) Love you all!! TTFN, DREAM GIRL