Monday, December 31, 2012

Goodbye 2012

2012 has been an eye opener for sure..

The start of it I was in a place where I went with the flow and really didnt know what to do.. Thought that I didnt matter and that living day to day waiting for basically nothing. I was trying to figure out how to help myself but I had dug a hole deeper than most.. Crying most nights due to I was so ashamed of where I was at in life and not sure how to get anywhere.. I had a few friends that couldnt take the pressure and decided that the best way to heal the pain was to end it all.. I had really thought that no one cared but only a few.. Maybe that would heal what I felt inside. I didnt realize that if I would have ended it all I wouldnt have gain strength in my dreams and hopes. I wouldnt have gain a whole new outlook on life.

This past summer has been one for the record books. I realized so much in myself and in others I had shut out for so many years. I did things I hadnt done in years due to I was scared of being happy, afraid of letting go.. I found a bunch of people that not only have showed me so many things in life but have saved it. I rekindled a friendship that I didnt think was still there with Laureen Feild. I missed her so much! Jenna Jones is one special person. She has helped me realize so much this year.  I found a best friend that loves me for me and helps me realize the positive side of things. I could go on and on naming everyone that has become friends from the bunch of teachers/parapros and to strangers on Facebook that are some of my near and dear friends.  I found what friendship really means this past year.

One of the biggest things this year is I realized what family really means. Whether it is blood or not. Yes, I have a family that I love dearly and know they love me but I had always felt like some thing was missing or that I felt like a wall flower. As people were passing away the love that was there seem to disappear little by little. It seemed like everyone was going their separate ways on both my mom and dad's side of the family. I began to pull more away.

This summer I got to meet my "second" family. I had been friends with a teacher that use to work at the Elementary and Middle School I went to. Rebecka Vigus has showed me so much this year and last year that I am grateful every second of everyday. She is like a second mom. It started with going to see a camper that use to go to Acorn Buddy Camp and who happens to be Ms.Vigus's nephew. I met his mom Diane who is a incredible woman I might add. She is such a special lady. Then I sent a note to Jamie (Ms.Vigus's daughter,who I had heard so many incredible things about) that said that I was so grateful for her mom and couldnt wait to meet Jamie. We become friends on Facebook and talked through there. Jamie helped me out of a few sticky situations. One of one best days of 2012 that I will remember forever is when I got to meet the rest of Ryan's family and Ms.Vigus's daughter Jamie and her amazing family. That day changed my life for the best. I gain a sister Jamie (who I might add is the greatest. We talk everyday whether through text or Facebook (It makes me feel like I matter to someone and keeps me going)) and a whole family that day! I wont forget the love and how they accepted me for me and not a person with a disability. I love each and everyone of you and I could go on about each of you but just know that you all have made a difference in my life for the better and I am grateful to each of you.    

There is a saying that says that "One Person can change the world." 2012 has shown me that not only is this true but if you stand your ground anything is possible. There are so many issues in the world but if we only would open our eyes to them, we can change the way the world is. This past year my "sister" took on bullying which is a hard situation to begin with but she change not only the life of one girl but I know she has changed many lives of people out there with the Facebook page she made and the kindness she has for those in need. Sadly, the other person that has basically changed the world is gone but his message will live on in the hearts of his family and all that knew him.. Jayden Lamb was a inspiration. He fought so hard with cancer but he always lived by the message of Pay It Forward. His story is one of millions of kids fighting for their lives and want the simple thing in life "Love".

Some more highlights of 2012 are:
* Getting a email from my hero Reba McEntire through the help of one of my heroes Keith Allen!
* Getting to see Ms.Coe a few times especially around my birthday. She is family and its always nice to get to see her and catch up. I miss her so much but she is never far from my heart.
* Getting to see Mrs.Kathy Green a bunch of times. The fair and the surprise around my birthday were some of the highlights. She also is family and has been one of my biggest fans. I love her so much.
*Learning to use Twitter and get to know stars like Mallary Hope, Julie Roberts (she is a hero of mine) and get tweets from Mellissa Peterman, Martina McBride, Reba (twice), and others. Its makes me love country music so much more.
* Getting to know Kathy Cash (Johnny Cash's daughter) and Julie Roberts on FACEBOOK! I love them both so much!
*Megan Patjas coming to see me! She is my sister and to see her refreshed my faith in friends.
*Helping out my cousin Ashley and DJ with the kids.
*Learning to let go.. From the little things to some big things. It helps to get things off your chest.
*Taking it day by Day.. Moment by moment because you dont know when your time is up so treasure every moment.

So I am saying goodbye to all the things that happened in 2012. Not only has 2012 changed my life but I am learning to move forward and to DREAM! I am asking everyone to hold there love ones this new year and try to spread more love than Hate! We can all change the world if we just look at things a different way.


Monday, November 26, 2012

I am thankful for... Strangers that turn into Family

Hi Everyone,
I hope that you are all having a great night/day! I hope you had a amazing Thanksgiving. Today is the birthday of a young woman who has changed my life for the better. I also want to talk about her family because these people have become like my second family. I credit her with helping me save my life. They all encourage me when I need it. They are there when I am feeling blue. They basically gave me Hope back

Over this past summer, I was learning how to do new things. I had found Jenna and was doing new things with her and trying to get out of my comfort zone. Ms.Vigus is a teacher I knew of in school. She was always really sweet and kind to everyone. I didnt really get to know her till this past year or so. Ms.Vigus would talk about how amazing her daughter Jamie is and how I am so much like her. I thought she was crazy "How could I be like someone I don't know". Through her stories of Jamie I began to idolize Jamie. Its crazy to think I could idolize someone I've really never met but I began to.

I found Jamie on Facebook one day and I sent her a message telling her how amazing I thought her mom was and that she told me all about her. She sent me a message back thanking me and saying hopefully one day we could meet in person. I couldnt help but wish that myself. A month or so went on and Jamie and I  talked every once in a while. She gave me alot of advice when I was down. It helped to know someone was there.

Ms.Vigus's is the aunt of a camper that use to go to Acorn Buddy Camp years ago.  I didnt realize this till a few years ago. This summer, Ms.Vigus sent up a time that Ryan and I could get together. It was fun to get to see Ryan again. Brought back alot of memories. I got to meet Diane (Ryan's mom and Ms.Vigus's sister). She is one of the sweetest people I know. She was so welcoming and such. Made me feel so loved.

One day Ms.Vigus and I were talking and she said Jamie and her family was going to be up at Diane's cabin for the weekend. She asked if I would love to go meet them. I was like "Yes" but I also had that feeling of "What if they dont like me?" "What if I make a fool of myself?". I realized also that the day they would be up was the same day as my cousin's wedding. In all honesty I've never felt like I belonged in my dad's side of the family. I was always the one sitting on the sidelines. I dont really get along with a bunch of them because they are so judgemental and its hard to stay positive with people like that. So when I had to make the choice to go with Ms.Vigus to see Jamie and her family I instantly told her yes. Jamie helped me through some things that most of my dad's family never saw. That day on the lake was so much fun. Not only was Jamie so sweet and kind so was her family. I had an amazing time once I relaxed. While there Jamie asked if I wanted to ride the Jet Ski. I hadnt rode one since my grandma died. Something told me though to do it. So i did. We cruised around the lake. I looked up at the sky. I saw a cloud that looked like a smile. For the first time I felt calmness and relief like my Grandma was telling me to do things even though it made me think of her but in a happy way. I gain a whole new family that day but most important I found a new true friend/sister that I know will be there for me always!

Jamie took on the issue of bullying a little while ago. A girl was being bullied in the local school in my hometown and Jamie set up a Facebook page in support of her. She never dreamed it would go the direction it did. It went National. I for one was so inspired because I always was a person who thought one person cant make a difference especially me because of my Spina Bifida. Jamie showed me that you can make a difference if you stand up for what is right. I attended my first football game in years with Jamie and Ms.Vigus. I would have never done that a year ago at all.

Jamie made this idea to make a video to help set up a non-profit. Ms.Vigus asked me if I wanted to be included. I thought to myself that I would do this for Jamie and all the kids that have been bullied. The day of the video was an adventure for sure. It didnt go the way it was suppose to but I am just glad everything turned out OK  My love for my new family grew that day. I got to spend some one on one time with Jamie and it was like having a sister I never had. I felt like I can tell her anything and ask her anything.

Although Jamie lives a few hours away. She helps me in ways I had given up on. I send her a text everyday saying love you because it makes me feel like I made her day doing that and I have a purpose to get up each day. I also get a hold of Ms.Vigus and Jamie to make sure they are doing OK because it makes me feel better about myself when I do.

Living with a disability can have it challenges and learning that Depression is a real thing that I have to learn to conquer is rough. I have great days that are positive and such. Also have rough days. This past week was a rough one. My parents were going to my brother and his wife in GA for Thanksgiving. I felt alone and lost. I know I wouldnt be totally alone but I just was unsure of not having my parents around for a holiday. I was strong for the most part accepting it and such. I went to my grandmas for dinner and was having a good day. I got home and wanted to clean a bit, I was sorting through some papers that I needed to go throw and toss. I found this envelope and wondered what it was. I opened it and my head began to spin. Inside was one of the notes I had written years ago when I just wanted to end it all. Yes, I had gone that low. I began to get those feeling and such. I really did feel alone, sitting there in my apartment. As I got done reading those horrible words on the page something caught my eye. It was a picture. The picture of the photos of Jamie and I the day of the video shoot. I sat there and hugged that picture. When I say she saves my life this is what that means. It scared me to realize how much easy it can be to slip into my old ways but it also gave me hope that I can get through anything with the help of my sisters and new family and the bunch of people supporting and loving me. So I am not giving up yet for the sake of my sister and my new family! <3

That is why today I am grateful totally for Jamie Kline. Rebecka Vigus, The Sather Clan, and the rest of the Kline and Vigus Clan! Words cant express how much I love you all especially you Jamie. You continue to help me get up each day with hope faith, trust, and love. Thank you for all you do for me!

Here is my piece of advice to anyone who wants to give up, DONT! Find someone to talk to! Everyone matters to someone!


PS. I am sorry for the tears this may have cause! I love you and wanted to tell you what my heart was saying! <3

I am Thankful for MUSIC

Hi Everyone,

Today I am thankful for music especially Country Music. I know a lot of you say Why Country Music? Its so sad and depressing. I love the heart of Country Music. I love the artists and I love relating to songs! I grow up listening to Country Music. When I was a little girl I would grab a hair brush and pretend it was a microphone and sing my heart out to George Strait, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Garth Brooks, Lonestar, and even Reba(my reba story will be a different day:)). Now a days though, Country Music is beginning to sound more Pop, which makes me sad because I love the good ole Country Music like Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, Conway Twitty, Porter Wagner, Kitty Wells, and so on. But I guess that is the world we live in now. Always changing!

I went through the boy band stage too. I believe it was 4th grade when I left country music and was in love with N*SYNC and Backstreet boys. I also loved 98*. They were the best back them. I still like to listen to their music now and then but I really am a country girl at heart. The boy band stage only lasted a few years! I guess you cant take the Country out of the girl.

My freshman year of high school, my grandparents took me to Nashville for my spring break. They told me that it would be an experience of a lifetime. They were right! We went to all the hot spots. The Ryman Auditorium, The Country Music Hall of Fame, Opryland Hotel, and so much more. We also attended the Grand Ole Opry where I got to see stars like Porter Wagner, Little Jimmy Dickens, and Trace Adkins. Lets just just say that week was one of the best weeks in the world! I cant wait to go again someday!
This picture is a clip from GIRLS NIGHT OUT. I DONT OWN THIS PICTURE.
PICTURED L-R Jennifer Nettles of Sugar land, Miranda Lambert, Reba, Martina McBride, Carrie Underwood, and Naomi and Wynonna Judd. All heroes of mine! <3 

I began to attend Concerts starting with my first real concert, Shania Twain in 2004. When I go to a concert, it like I am in a world of mine own. I focus on everything. I love how everything works at a concert. From the song choices to the layout of the stage. I have attended alot of concerts since then. Martina McBride(5 times), Reba McEntire(10 Times), Lady Antebellum, Kellie Pickler, Little Big Town, Rascel Flatts to just name a few.  My mom and her friend Robin took me on a Cruise my senior year of high school for spring break and on the criuse ship, I got me meet an amazing Country artist by the name of Mickey Utley. He was so sweet and kind to me. We have keep in touch too which makes it amazing. 
This Julie Roberts. She is a hero of mine and a great friend. She
Shows me hope and faith and that dreams can come true!

Since I started using Twitter and sometimes Facebook my love of Country stars has grown. Through Twitter I have become friend with Julie Roberts. One of her famous songs is "Break Down Here". When her first CD came out I got it and fell in love with her emotion in her songs. She is one of those singers that can touch your soul. I never in my wildest dreams would think she would ever Tweet me back but I am thankful she does. She is one of the sweetest people I know. Every tweet I get from her gives me hope! I just hope I am lucky enough to meet her someday and tell her how much she saves my life! I also have gotten to know a few other up and coming country stars like Mallary Hope, Cody Wolfe Band, and a few more. They all have their unquie styles and such and it amazes me of their talent.

So today I am thankful for Country Music. My dream is to one day be able to work in the Country Music Field because it is what I am passionate about. I want to meet as many country artists as possible. They all inspire me to have faith, hope, and to express myself! Music is what makes the world a better place to live :)

Thank you for reading! TTFN,  DREAM GIRL

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I am Thankful for a woman who has never given up on me!

Hi Everyone,

Today I am thankful for a woman who has been there for me even when I didnt take the time to realize it. I stepped foot in Mrs. Kathy Green's third grade class for the first time in 1997. I was pretty much this scared little girl that really didn't know what to do. She had one of the sweetest smiles in the world and she automatically became a friend.

When I was in 3rd for the school year of 1997-1998, I had a lot of health issues and surgeries. I can remember how thoughtful Mrs.Green was each time I had to miss class. Due to my health issues and probably a few other things like math facts, my parents and other people thought it would be best if I would stay behind and do another year of 3rd grade. I actually can remember thinking to myself that I would only agree to this if I was placed in Mrs.Green class again. I actually wished upon a star it would happen and It did! I know I wasnt the easiest kid to deal with but Mrs.Green never gave up on me and that I will be forever grateful for.

Mrs.Green made third grade worthwhile. She is one of those special teachers that just know the love in teaching. There are so many memories I have from both years of 3rd grade but most of them are fuzzy or have faded.There are a few that will stick with me forever and ever. There was this one time that we did a contest and had to write about bugs to win a trip the the movie theaters to see "A Bug's Life". I also remember another time we were talk about differences in each other. I was really not sure of fitting in because of my Spina Bifida back then. I remember a day when there was a puppet show that came into class and was about disabilities. That day I remember being able to bring in my doll that wore braces and had crutches. I also got to share my book called "A very Special Critter." That day was one of the best I had had ever. It made me feel like I belonged for the first time.

As years went on Mrs.Green and I became pen pals. It would make my day to go to the mail box or get a letter from her. I would tell her how school was going and such. It was so special to have a friend like that. Most of my school friends never really wrote letters and sent cards so it made it even more special to have someone that cared.

When my grandma died in 2000, I didnt think anyone was there for me. I can remember her funeral but something afterwards I will never forget. My mom handed me a little flower terrarium and told me that they were for me. I read the card and through the heartback, I felt love. They were from Mrs.Green. I watered and keep that for as long as I can remember. Each time I looked at it I remember feeling HOPE.

 I believe it was my 7th grade year I learned she was retiring. Lets just say I was really sad. I wanted to be a student aide in her class but you couldnt do that till 8th grade and now she would be gone. I dont really remember exactly how it happened but somehow I got to student aide in her class my 7th grade year. It was so much fun and a defiantly a learning experience. Mrs.Green moved away to be closer to family. First to Grand Rapids and now WI and FL.

As the years went on and I entered high school and such. I began to pull away from alot of people and sadly I feel one of them was Mrs.Green. I didnt want to be near anyone due to my grandma had died, my PT/Friend Pat died, and when my Grandpa died in 2006, I did believe anyone I trusted would be taken away from me. I didnt want to lose anyone else especially Mrs.Green.  But what I didnt really realize till recently, Mrs.Green was always there even when I didnt see it.

This year I have learned alot but one thing is that wishes can come true. My birthday this past year was one of  the best. Ms.Coe was home, My best friend was got enough money to save her spot for LA, I got flowers from Ms.Vigus and my sister and I got to see Rascel Flatts. But one thing I will never forget is that I got a call from Mrs.Green saying she was in MI for a few days and wanted to get together! I love when she comes to visit. It makes me realize friendship last forever!

Mrs.Green, I believe, is one of my guardian Angels. She is one of the sweetest people I know. I am so lucky to have her in my life and can call her a friend. So that is why today I am so very Thankful for Mrs. Kathy Green! I love her from the bottom of my heart! I miss her everyday but she is always close to my heart!

Monday, November 19, 2012

I am thankful for ...... ABC

Hi Everyone,  
            On this day, I want to say how thankful I am for Acorn Buddy Camp. I attended ABC till this past summer when things wouldn’t allow me to attend. It was a different summer for sure without Buddy Camp. But I learned that its OK to mix it up a little and ABC is always with me, everyday of my life.

          Acorn Buddy Camp is a week-long camp designed for handicapped kids. Each camper is paired up with a person of the same sex to help them with things through out the week. They are there if they need help getting dressed, eating, and just to basically be a buddy through out the week. I first attended this camp back in 2001. Acorn Buddy Camp became my second home. The people there are like my second family. I have so many friendships through out the years I attended ABC. I started out as a camper but the last few years ago I have had the privileged to be a buddy.

            Each year I get to see so many of the same campers there and some new faces. These campers are incredible. Even with their challenges, they shine thorough expressions, laughs, and such. They love you for who you are. Each one has something special about them. Some of my best friends are campers. As they grow older and age out of ABC, I know that the time they spend at camp made them a better person.
This is Ryan. He was a camper for many years. I recently got to see
Ryan again when I went to visit him and his family at there lake house :) 
            I have so many sisters and brothers from camp that I lose track of them and I am sorry for that. Each one of them are special in their own ways! I love each and everyone of them. I will never forget how they have impacted my life. I would love to tell you about a few of them.


             Emily Powell (was Snyder) (pictured below with me and her daugther Madelyn a few years back) is the daughter of Bob and Carol Snyder. Carol was the dean of ABC till recently. Emily was one of the first people I met at ABC. She was my first counselar at camp. She is so sweet and kind. She reminds me of  what a sister is. I have so many fond memories of Emily. From walking to the tires, sitting at last campfire, and Emily Sandwich pictures. Through the years Emily has shown me so much. Her heart is so big! When she left camp to start a family, camp was never ever the same. She shown me though, she will always be there for me whenever. She has shown me that I can do anything with people who love me standing next to me! I miss Emily with my whole heart it even hurts sometimes.

 I met Megan Pajtas my third year at camp. She was in my cabin that year. From the start her and I began a friendship I knew would last forever. She is funny, goofy and all round amazing person. She is truly what a true friend is all about. I love her so much! She came to see me this past summer and that meant more than she will understand. She gave me my hope that friends stay together in the heart! Megan is a person I look up to because she has a heart of gold.

This is our first picture taken together.
This picture was taken this past summer when Megan came to
visit me in West Branch! 2012

            Heidi Wolfe (use to be Snyder (below) is one of my sisters for life. She is one of those people that light up a room as she walks into it. I love her lots and I cant imagine not having her in my life. She has shown me so much through these years and I hold all the support, friendship, and love she has given me so close to my heart! She helps me look at the positive side of life.


            Austin Cook came to camp a while back. He has showed me so many things. He is such a funny guy. He made camp so much fun and he also has one of the biggest hearts I know. He can comfort you like an older brother. Austin hasnt attended camp in a while and it shows.

        Kyla Ford (below on the left with Meghan Key (middle) and Me (right)), who has shown me that strength is in all of us. I watch her grow up while at buddy camp. She is my little sister. Even though we dont agree on things and we kinda lost touch, I think of Kyla everyday and wish her the best always. I will never forget all the great times we have had. Showing up and surprising her for her 16th birthday was priceless!

          Aubrey Hiney, (picture below with me) who has been such a great support and has shown me that having Spina Bifida can never get us down. Aubrey shows me everyday I am not alone. She has such an sweet heart! I hope we can stay friends/sisters forever! I miss her everyday!


Katie May, (pictured below with me) who I miss so much and has shown me that friendship last forever. I met Katie that first day of ABC. We didnt really get to know each other till the years went on but she is one of the funniest people I know. She is so sweet, kind, and caring. I love her so much!

Katie and I at the reunion one year :) 

              The list goes on with Meghan Key, Danelle Graves, Amarisa, E-beth, Jessica Cobb, Angela, Heather and Nicole,  Scot, Kris O, Tabby, Net- Net, Rachel, Emily and Orea S., Mellissa, Ryan, and I could go on forever lol.. Each one will always be forever in my heart! It would take me till next year to write each one of you a paragraph so I want you to know that each one of you are special to me and always will be!

              Acorn Buddy Camp will always be a huge part of my life. Even if I never go back to camp, I will forever be grateful for the ones that showed me that I can be who I want to be even with a disability! Thank you to the deans, nurses (Susie- I love you so much! You have been there for me so much through the years. You are like a second mom to me and I appreicate you so much! Miss you from the bottom of my heart!), and staff at Widewater Retreat Center! I love you all and that is why I am grateful to ABC!!!!

TTFN, Dream Girl 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Day 6: I am thankful for... Jenna

Today I am thankful for a young lady who came into my life I believe to show me I can trust people and to know the kindness of a stranger.  This young lady has changed my life so much I cant tell you enough how much she has saved my life. I knew of Jenna Jones in high school and always thought to myself that she would never be friends with a "freak" like me. I began this blog back last year and she commented on a few of them. She was so sweet and caring. There was something about her that was comforting and then we became friends on Facebook. I didn't realize that she would become the best friend I really never had.

Over this past summer, Jenna invited me to a day with her as a spa day which changed my life. The decision to go was not a easy one for me. As a kid growing up, I hated going to friends house. I know a lot had to do with me hiding my bathroom stuff from them and not liking being in situation that require me to be around people I really didn't know. I thought that no one would understand and would make fun of me because in school some kids that found out were cruel. That day with Jenna was different though. She wanted to hang out and wanted to get to know me. We had a blast and I got to understand that there are people out there that will understand and its OK to be yourself. I dont regret it at all. :)

Jenna and I hung out a bunch more times during the summer and such. She is one of the sweetest people I know.Also for me it is a big step towards be able to get my depression under control because I found someone that loved me for me and wanted to truly be my friend. I have trust issue due to having a disability and people not understanding it and such but I don't have to worry about that with Jenna.

Jenna's drive and her belief in her dreams is so incredible. I used to think that my dreams were bigger than me and that no one understands them. Jenna has big dreams too and I now understand that my dreams are there for a reason! She is such a talented person with so much potential. I will be a fan of hers for life!

The summer came to an end and a few months ago, Jenna moved a away to WI. As excited I was for her and so extremely happy for her, I kinda felt my world ending. I had found a best friend to hang out and now she was leaving. The day she came to get me to go out for ice cream, I wasn't sure how to say goodbye. I didnt really want to. There is a saying that says "Never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting." I didnt want to forget all things I had learned and such. That day when she dropped me off at my apartment and I sat down and glance around looking at all the pictures of us and smiling. My life had changed so much I was so content with it all. I didnt notice i had tears running down my cheek. I know she is where she needs to be though. I miss her everyday!

Jenna may not be to stand beside me but she is always helping me everyday get up each day with hope. Hope that I have a purpose in life and someone who cares! I cant wait till I can see her again!

Love you Jenna Jones! Never give up on anything because I believe in you! I am always here if you need anything!


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I am thankful for... day 4 and 5

Hi Everyone,
I hope that all of you are having a great night! Sorry I am alittle behind time on my thankfulness month blog. My computer has decided it wants to not connect to the internet.
Day 4 and Day 5 of I am Thankful for..

            First I want to say that I am thankful for water, shelter, food that is available to me everyday. Many people (myself sometimes) take for granted the simplest things like food, water, housing. We live in a country where we can get these things most of the time. You see these commercials where there are children starving and having to take care of their siblings because their parents have died and they had no where to go in other countries and I bet it happens even in the US. Most people I know call them a scam or such. Yes, there are scams out there but there are also children out there that need LOVE! I know for me it is hard to watch these commerical because I think every human being should be treated with love and respect. If I had money I would help out any way I could but I don’t have myself quite figured out yet but I will someday. A child should not have to worry where their next meal should come from or if they are going to live till the next morning. We live in a world where all people do is rush all over trying to make a dollar and then spend it on something like beer or cigarettes. I honestly don’t get it but I guess you can’t figure out the whole world. Maybe in the future, we can get it right. 

            The second thing I am thankful for are doctors, nurses, and medical staff everywhere! I was born with Spina Bifida with Hydrocephalus  and so I know my fair share of doctors. From having a dozen or so surgeries to the yearly visits to Children’s Hospital in Detroit, every doctor, nurse, or medical staff has touched my life is so many ways.

            There are so many of them through out the years that I couldn’t possibly name them all. They show me how to be a better person everyday. From Dietitians, Neurosurgeons, Orthopedics to nurses for surgeries, I know they do the best they can for me and they care.

            Pat is a nurse practitioner at Children’s Hospital. She more than just a doctor I see every year. She is a friend/ support system. She shows me everyday that I am not alone with the medical side of things of my Spina Bifida. I know if I have questions, she can help me answer them even though I am 4 hours away from Children’s. I haven’t been the best of patient over the years and right now I want to apologize to Pat for that. I’m not one to be able to show my feelings and I thought if I didn’t listen to all the medical stuff when I was younger somehow it would all go away. I know now that isn’t possible unless they research a miracle. There is one thing though, I hung on every word Pat has ever said to me. Through out the years, I would try what she was saying at home a few times and it wouldn’t work like I thought it would so I would give up. I’m still learning to this day things I know I should have done as a kid and they wouldn’t be so difficult now but I am trying my best. I am so thankful though to have Pat and other doctors I can count on to answer all my questions. Without all of them I wouldn’t be here today with you all. One day at a time is my motto now a days. 

            Not just my doctors I am thankful for.  I am thankful to the many doctors around the world helping out children and adults too.

            The doctors that fight to find a cure for cancer are some of the best heroes out there. Cancer is one of the deadly diseases known to the world. For many years, I have been mad at the doctors that helped my grandma Rita. I was mad at them for letting her die. I thought they had given up on her and felt betrayed by them for that. I know now they did the best they could and they tried their hardest for the time being they gave her years to be with us that she wouldn’t have had without treatment. There are so many kinds of cancer, its hard to keep up with all of them but one of the ones that is the cruelest of them all is childhood cancers. A child should be playing on a jungle gym, playing hopscotch, or riding a bike not in a hospital fighting for their life. St. Jude is one place that holds a special place in my heart because a child shouldn’t have to go through what those children go through. But St. Jude is a place of Hope and Love. They help not only the medical side of things but they make it a place of love. They never turn a child away for the inability to pay either. I have friends in the radio business that have traveled to St. Jude in TN and have said that you don’t feel sadness when you step into the doors, you feel HOPE.

            Doctors that travel to different countries to help others in need are some amazing heroes. From the ones that travel with the Smile Train to the ones that travel to where there is a disaster to help those in need. A child is beautiful and to have a smile that matches that amazing personality can mean the world to one child that has been teased or placed in hiding because of a cleft palate. It comes back to the Hope situation. It brings to the child that didn’t believe they were beautiful and giving them that sense of self confidence back. The doctors that deal with natural disasters are so amazing in the effort to act quick in spite of having to deal with personal things. 

            Without medical staff we couldn’t live as humans. So I am thankful to each and everyone out there that helps out another person. You don’t have to have a medical degree to help out those in need either. To help St. Jude become a partner in HOPE. Its doesn’t cost much but the families and children going through the battle of their lives, it means that someone out there cares. Same goes with the Smile Train and the Red Cross. Weren’t we put on this earth to help out where ever we can?

Thank you for reading! :) <3 Dream Girl

Saturday, November 3, 2012


Hey Everyone, 

I hope that you all are having a great day! Thank you for following along with my month of thankfulness! I wouldn't be about to do this month of Thankfulness without mentioning a woman who basically has helped me in so many ways. I have wrote about her so much but she is a huge part of my life and she will always be one of my angels/heroes! 

I first meet Harriett Coe when my brother Jesse had her for band I believe. I didn't really know her back then. I just knew my brother liked her and thought she was very nice person. It wasn't till I got into 6th grade at Rose City Middle School that I understood who Ms.Coe really was. I first had her as a Social Studies teacher and I instantly knew she was very special. There was a special way she taught that I loved. Her heart and soul was there along with every word she said. 

I guess you could say it was at Sixth grade camp when I realized that Ms.Coe was one of the most caring people and she really did care for me. This was a time that I was so unsure of myself, hating myself, and not understanding my disability at all. It was the first night, I took my shoes and braces off and noticed my right foot didn't look right. With Spina Bifida, where you have low or no sensation, you can develop sores and such. I discovered I had a blister the size of two half dollars. I was really unsure what to do. I wanted to crawl under the covers most of the time at camp anyhow but this just seem to make it worse. I tried to hide it so i wouldn't have to deal with it but my friends at the time saw it and told Ms.Lee, who was the the teacher in the room we slept in. She looked at it and said she would be right back. By this time I was wanting to cry, I was embarrassed and ashamed. I thought I had done something bad. A few minutes later, Ms. Lee appeared with Ms. Coe. Ms. Coe checked it over and to my surprise she didn't cover it or nothing at first. She sat down and gave me a hug. That day I realized something. Her hugs had the same effect my Grandma Rita's use to have before she died. I felt a tiny sense of myself start to relive that day.

Through the the years, I loved to visit Ms.Coe at the school. It would be fun to come back and hear her famous stories. She would just put you at ease and take away all your worries. When she retired I thought that I would lose touch with her and that thought just about made the world stop. But I began to visit her at home and it was like hanging with a friend. Through out high school I had some very rough patches and yes, I will admit I thought about harming myself but the thought of leaving Ms.Coe behind and making her upset if something was to happen to me always made me think twice. You could say she saved my life more than once.

A few years ago, when I was dealing with a lot of things. I decided I needed to talk to someone about the way I felt. I was really unsure how to do this due to I am one of the shyest people you will meet and had kept so much to myself. I wrote so many letters (most of which I would get ready to mail and then throw away). One night I was down and depressed and decided to write one of my famous letters. I got to thinking and address this one to Ms.Coe. I was unsure if I was going to mail it or not. It took me forever to mail it. It was in my car for weeks. When I did though I felt a surge of comfort almost like my Grandma Rita telling me that I had finally figure it out. Ms.Coe wrote me back the sweetest and most comforting letter ever. I have that letter pinned up on my bulletin board and I read it whenever I get sad to make me feel loved and its makes me realized I have someone that will always be there for me.  

Since that day, Ms.Coe has basically helped me turn my life around. Her advice I take to heart. From the hugs to the tough love advice I need, Harriett Coe is my hero.

She recently (last month) showed me that if I believe in something, It just might come true. It might have been   a consequent but it has shown me wishes can come true. Ms. Coe left about the end of June and was suppose to be home a week or so later but something happened with her mom that she needed to stay. In my heart, I knew she was where she needed to be but I longed for one of her hugs, so much was changing in my life and I wished for the one I trusted the most. People began asking me what I wanted for my birthday (Oct.6th). I know what I wanted in my heart but I knew it was far fetched and I didn't know how to tell people. I posted "I know what I want for my birthday" on Facebook. Many people guessed things like a new car, a boyfriend, and such. A friend popped up on chat and this certain friend knows me very well. Her message read "I know what you want. You want HHC home to celebrate". Truly I did. I had seen her on my birthday since I was in 6th grade. I saw so many shooting stars in the month of September and every one I wished upon my birthday wishes. To my surprise, she came home a few days before my birthday. Not only did it make my birthday more special it made me feel loved and it also lit my belief in my wishes and dreams that much more.  

So I am grateful that I step in Harriett Coe's class so many years ago and that I have her guidance and friendship through this crazy thing called life! She is gone most of the time now helping out with her mom, who is amazing too, but she is always here for me. I think about her and pray for her everyday. We don't talk like we use to but she will forever be my hero! I love her like she is my second mom and always will. I only hope I can make her proud of me!! 

TTFN, Dream Girl 

Friday, November 2, 2012

I AM THANKFUL FOR..................... Pets

Hi Everyone,
On this second day of November I thought I would honor all the pets my family and I have had over the years.When I was growing up I had a lot of cats but our household also had a variety of pets. Some were normal and other were a little more exotic. My brother Jesse though had a very different kind of pet when I was little. He first had an iguana named Paco. I honestly thought this thing was the creepiest thing ever but as time went on though I grew to love Paco as much as my brother did. I grew to think he was really cool. He would sit on your shoulder or on the beams across the house. Paco was never mean to you if you didnt scare him. Sadly I can remember when Paco died. My brother Jesse was holding him in the bathtub. No vet around here knew about lizards and there wasn't the internet. It was the first time I had seen my brother cry :(  The years went on and he got another iguana but the next wasnt as nice as Paco. He would wipe hes tail at you and bite. That one disappeared and later we found it had gotten too cold and died.

This isnt Paco but I wanted to show what he kinda looked like :) 
Through the years we had a few dogs while I was living at my parents house. I can remember Shadow, a beagle that was very sweet. Annie, a German Shepard we only had a for a few because she ate my rabbits, that I was showing for Fair. There is one dog though will forever be in my heart because he was like my best friend. He was actually gotten for my brother Joe but he became one of my best friends. Max was a black lab. He was a fetch dog for sure. He would be there if we needed a friend or he would play all day. I can remember crying in my room one day after having a terrible day at school. He sat by me and I hugged him and it made me feel better. Max was so lovable, he was one of the greatest dogs in the world! My heart is still broken since the day Max died. He was such a huge part of my childhood. He will never be forgotten! RIP MAX!

After a few, my parents decided to get another dog. My dad and brothers came up with the idea to get mom  a dog for her birthday/Christmas. We found a French Mastiff. He came home a few years back. He is a sweet dog. Big but very sweet. He loves attention. His name is Napoleon or most of us call him Moose because he is like one :).

This is a recent picture of Napoleon./Moose :) 
I have always been a cat person. I have had so many cats to even remember them all and I have had many litter born of cats due to I would always keep a girl cat. Well the last litter of kittens, my parents told me I had to keep a male so I did. He was one of the best friends I ever had. As a kitten he was very playful and love to get into things. George was there when I moved out of my parents house. He would keep me company on those lonely nights and was a great cat. As the years went on though, George became to get more and more into wanting to find a mate. He would sometime escape which would literally break my heart thinking he would never come back. The last time he got out he was gone for about three weeks. But I remember the night, I was laying in bed alone, crying. All of a sudden I heard a MEOW outside my window. He had came back! My dad had started on my new apartment downstairs and got it to a point I could move in. I was so glad George was back to come live in my new apartment with me. It made it less scary. But as time went on George began to spray on things. I knew in my heart that it was time to let him go but it killed me. I had my mom take him to a farm. I know he would be happier there. That day though I felt like I lost my best friend! :( I miss him to this day because I had him since he was a born but I believe he is happy where ever he is and he will forever be in my heart.  

After a  few months of George's departure (about May 2011), I was really wishes I had a pet to keep me company. As a girl that lives alone and having depression, I just knew I needed a pet. Well, I finally convince my dad, who at the time was my landlord to let me invest in a small dog. Lets just say this wasnt a little decision for any of us. I was so use to cats and they used a litter box so cleaning up after them was easy. Well I did a little investigating on which dog would be perfect. I really wanted a Chihuahua because they were small and easy to take care of. There are a lot of stereotypes out there about Chihuahuas but I believe every animal needs a chance. I looked at internet for one and found one but the problem was that it was in Jackson MI and would cost me gas money and $50 bucks for the dog if I wanted it. The day before I wanted to go look at it though, a friend of mine that worked in the bakery was talking about her neighbor having what she thought was a long-haired chihuahua. She said she that he was looking for someone to take her. She thought she was 6mos. My friend told me he would just give her to me if I wanted her and that she would bring her over in the morning for me to check her out. I thought that would be perfect and less expensive for me. 

My friend brought her over in the morning. She was so cute! It was like she was just waiting for someone to love her. I told my friend, Yes! She was very scared for the first couple of weeks but warmed up to me after a day or so. I named her Tinkerbelle (Belle for short). Little did I know I would get the surprise of my life in a month or so. :)
Here is Belle the day I got her  May 2011

Belle goes everywhere with me. She never is out of my sight normally. She even would keep me company in the Caboose when I was still working for the bakery. We go to the park and hang out. She is very content but lovable  She is a dog that you have to be patient with. She gets scared of people easy and it takes a while for her to trust. About early June 2011, I notice Belle was putting on weight. My family and I thought it was probably me just feeding her a lot. The middle of June my mom looked at me and said I think Belle is pregnant. I thought she was nuts because it would mean she would have been pregnant when I got her and wouldn't her previous owner have known that. Apparently not.  On June 30th, Belle gave birth to two female puppies. I knew it would be challenge but they were so cute. Love at first sight kinda thing :) 
This picture was taken a few weeks after the puppies were born. 2011
As they were growing, we talked about my options with the puppies but three dogs is rough for one person. We went through ideas like selling them to giving them away. I am a person that gets attached really easy to things so I was unsure of all of it. When they were old enough my mom decided to take one of the puppies (the larger one) to her house to get me use to one of the gone. We had decided that two I could handle. Lets just say my parents are the best because they decided that they loved "Lucy" too much especially my dad. I think it is funny because they have a :Moose and a Lucy now.  I named the other one Princess because she was so small and looked like a Princess. They are now a year and half old now. If you looked at Princess and Lucy though you wouldnt think they were the same age. Lucy is almost as big as Belle and Princess is a wee 2.5lbs. She is growing slowly though :) 
Lucy is in green , Belle is laying down, and Princess is in pink and purple :) This picture was taken at Christmas in 2011. 

I am so glad I have Belle and Princess today! They are my best friends. They are here when I am sad and need company. They protect me and make me safe. I love them with all my heart! Animals are just like people they need love and acceptance. An animal is not born bad, if treated right they can be the most loving thing ever. They say an animal loves you more than you love them and I believe that with my whole heart. 

This is Princess. All 2.5lbs of Sassy! <3 

My brother Jesse and his wife Mallissa have 3 dogs of their own so Christmas at my parents house is very interesting because yes that is a total of 7 dogs!! They have Piper, a chow mix, Ziva, a mix of something, and Tegan. I was also introduce to one of my brothers Joe's roomates Bulldog Bo a few months back so if he brings him home for the holidays this could be interesting! :) 

Animals shouldn't not under any situation be harm in any way unless they are aggressive (especially dogs need to understood more). They are just like humans! Please help those in need. If you know an animal is being abused please call the authorities! If you see a animal lost or scared call someone! They need your help they cant do it alone!! 

Thank you for reading! TTFN, Dream Girl