Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Lesson Learned

Hey Everyone,
I hope everyone is having a great night.. Ive been going through alot of emotions lately.. Some I dont know exactly to do with and others I can deal with.. I learned alot this past weekend. Some things I know i will learn and relearn everyday but maybe someday i will get them done like math facts :)

1. Friends will always be there when you need them. True friends I mean. They will be there to lift you up that or to help you fall softly so you dont break your head open.
2. Living in a small town has its up and downs. Everyone has there own version of a story and only the main character of that story will know the real one. If you dont know the whole truth then keep it to yourself.
3. Its ok to cry.. It clears the nose for sure.. It doesnt mean you are weak or cant handle something. It just means that you were strong for long enough and need help sometimes. 
4. Its ok to miss people.. means they mean something in your life.. and you cant wait to see them again..
5. When someone you love passes away.. They arent really gone.. they are always will you.  
6. Im me.. I make mistakes.. Im human.. I may want to fall and lay there when i make mistakes but i have friends that will be there if i need to help me stand back up. 
6. Im not a quitter. I know that this life is a climb.. i know i cant quit.. Someday i believe these dreams will fly 
7. If you dont understand your parents sometimes.. dont let it bug you.. they will always care but maybe just dont know how to actually show you how.
8. If you live in a place that most are looking for tommorow, dont let that make you miss today.
9. Its ok to reach.. youll never no when there will hand to lift you up.
10. NEVER GIVE UP! Youre never in this alone.. Just ask someone!
Thank you for reading! I will write again soon! Have a great week! Love you all! Remember to pay it forward! 
TTFN, Dream Girl  

Saturday, January 21, 2012

never quit

Hi Everyone, I wanted to start out by thanking the person reading this.. You dont how much that means to me. I hope that you enjoy your week.

I have a friend that is also handicapped. When I told her about my blog she asked me a few questions and I touched on some of the things in other blogs but I thought I would write to help her out. Maybe it will shed some light on something your going through.

 She asked, "Jen, Im struggling in  my new school especially P.E. I dont know about how teachers react to my disablity. What if they dont understand?

Teachers understand most things. If they dont teach them. Most of them are just as curious as most people are.  I know for me I found some amazing teachers that helped me through school and still do. Sometimes I need that reminder to go the bathroom or I need that extra push to do something. Yes, I did run into the ones that dont understand and it made me frustrated but you can let it get to you. Now that I am out of school I look to some of my former teachers for advice. They are the greatest.

As for the P.E. dilema In my elementary and Middle School. I hate P.E. I hated watching the other kids do jumping jacks, run the miles, and running around playing sports. Well I got to Middle School and Met a teacher by the name of Sandi Lee. She told me I could do anything. She showed me how to particapate in P.E. Ok yes alot of the time I disliked her because back then I didnt realize she was helping me instead of making do things that I thought were embrassing. Like instead of running the mile. She and I walked the mile and me being the goalie for some of the sports. I rememebering alot of the time I would hide in the locker room.. Now that I am grown and out of school I admire and owe so much to Ms.Lee and many others.. Many of which are probably reading this :)  

The other question she asked me is "How do I know what I want to do with the rest of my life? Im lost"

Well Im not alot of help in the area quite yet. I am still trying to figure me out. As of right now I have no clue what I want to do with my life. Im basically what you would call lost too. But I do know that Im not alone. I have so many people that care and if i need a ear or shoulder I know I can count on them. Life is climb. Some days yes I do want to quit but I cant. Someday youll find that one thing you really want to do and reach for it but right now just live for today. Tommorow is never promised to anyone :)

Well I hope that I helped someone. If anyone else has any questions I always welcome to answer if you would like..  Have a great weekend! Will write more soon! TTFN, Dream girl

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

A Million Ways to Run

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I havent blog in a while. Between computer breaking and a few other things its been hard to get on here. I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season and are winding down and back into the real world.My holiday season was full of happiness, goodbyes, laughs, tears, and lots and LOTS of dogs. My brother Jesse and his new bride Mallissa came home with their dogs Piper (Chow mix, she looks like a fox), Ziva (Jack Russel mix), and their new 8 week old puppy Teagen (basset hound and lab mix). Yes that adds a total of 7 at Christmas. It was tons of fun and lots of great times. Im sad that its all over but I know that means one step closer to warmer weather. Im not a snow person.

I would like to touch on a subject that should be addressed more frequently because it has increased so much. Suicide is national problem. I know I could sit here and tell you statistics but I wont. Most sucides are because of bullying or someone that has suffer a loss of some kind. I know most people dont understand how do you get down that far. It happens. Depression is a hard thing to deal with and if you dont know how it makes it harder. You may know that it happen to me. No I never got to attempted but I was as close as you can say close. I thought no one cared and that I was alone. When youre that far down you get the feeling of uselessness. You cant think straight.  Honestly Im not ashamed of it. That period of my life has shown me that even though life throws me obstacles that I can reach out. I am lucky to have found comfort in Reba McEntire, friends, and other things. I know now that if I tell someone whats going on and get that caringness even if its someone telling me it will be ok or hang on, a hug, or a phone call, I know I can get through whatever it is that is happening. I have a friend that give out "magic hugs" my cousin and I called them that because her hugs can melt away the worst of feelings. You can have the worst of days and she give you a hug and its gone away. I think that is because she has shown me she cares about my feelings.

I bring this subject up because recently I had a very special friend that decided he was done. He lost his wife and I guess decided he could fight anymore. No one saw it coming like most. I still dont know how to process that he is really gone. Kevin Sekley was the sweetest, caring, and funny person you could ever met. He was like my big brother. I grow up with Kevin. My brother Joe and him were the best of friends. Over the years he and his family moved away and it was just recently that he and I reconnected on Facebook. He and I would message back and forth. He would cheer me up when I was in a bummed mood. The most memorable thing I always rememer about Kevin was he was one of my brothers friends that never looked at me like I was disabled. He always nice to me. No one will understand why he did what he did. But I know that I wont remember Kevin like a depressed person that took his own life. He will be always remembered as that brother that always knew how to make me laugh. I only wish that he would have reached out to someone and talk about what he was feeling.  He left behind 4 beautiful kids and a lot of family and friends that will treasure those precious moments that they had with him. I know I will never forget him!

My message that I want everyone to know is that youre never alone. YOU MATTER!!! You may think you have hit rock bottom but you always have to option to look up. Also please please tell your love ones they matter. Even if you dont talk to some of them just tell them you care. One day you will regret not telling them. Text, call, write, email, chat, facebook, or how ever you communicate just do it today. They may just need to know that you care.

P.S. The person reading this I care about! :) You are the strength in my day to day life so THANK YOU!

Sincerely, Dream Girl