Sunday, August 5, 2012

Letters to God/To Save A Life

Hi Everyone,

I hope everyone has been having a great life. I know I have been neglecting this blog. I am so sad that I have. This blog means the world to me. I have wrote things down here that I didn't think anyone who care about but they are my true feelings.

The past few weeks have been a true whirlwind. So much I'm learning and trying to understand. I'm still trying to figure out this life and what my true purpose is in it.

Here something I just don't understand and never will. It has been racking my brain about it.  When I was a kid, I never had a cell phone, IPOD, Cable TV(we got when I was in middle school) and etc. Kids nowadays are getting these things younger and younger. Why does a 6 year old need a cell phone? Teens nowadays are getting worse and worse. What bugs me the most is that they can't have there phones off for more than 10 mins. All I see them do is text, text, call,text. In my mind they aren't really there. Why would you go to someone's house to hang out and then just be on your phone. I could care less to have my on. Yes, I will admit I like texting over talking but text messaging can be so misunderstood sometimes. It can tell the person really how you feel. I didn't get my cell till I moved into my grandparents house and then I only got it  for when my parents needed to get a hold of me. I didn't have internet on it or nothing I just think that kids nowadays have no Respect for others at all especially adults. Most parents don't see it though. I wish parents would stop trying to be there best friends and set down some rules. I thank my parents everyday for the rules they gave us. I may have hated them back then but I understand now why. <3 

I also think that we are losing interaction between people. Now we Twitter, Facebook, and other devices we talk through. I love sending out letters to friends. Its so much more personal. I love getting
mail still. It makes me feel loved and appreciated. Through the computer there isn't much thought put into it. I wish people would write letters that you mail more.

I watched a few movies lately and I would like to talk to you about them and get your insight on them as I think they opened my eyes to a lot of things. They made me question life..

The first movie is called "Letters to God". It is based on a true story about Tyler Doherty who is battling cancer. To Tyler, God is a friend, a teacher, and the best pen-pal. Tyler mails a letter/prayer to God everyday. When his regular mail man goes on vacation. Brady McDaniels steps in. Brady is a drunk who has has made a lot of mistakes in life and not sure where to turn. At first he is confused on what to do with the letter for God. The decision he makes becomes a testament to the quiet power of one boy's journey of life and his faith. This tranformation shines through the whole town.

This movie really moved me in ways I didn't think I could feel. Its not that I don't believe in God because I do. Its been a hard road though. When I was younger I couldn't understand why God would make a girl that isnt the fittest or cant walk or go to the bathroom normally. Then when people began to pass away that I had turned to I thought God was punishing me for not accepting my disability. My Grandma Rita was my best friend, even though she didnt know. As I watched her slowly slip away, I began to get angry with God. It was like my last straw. I shut down to everything around me and believed that he was really punishing me now. How could he take a woman that needed to be here away. I have always believe in angels. I believe there a people placed in your life for a reason. Good or bad. You just have to open your heart and understand.

Here is my letter to God inspired by the movie..

Dear God,
Im writing you this because seems like lately I forgotten how to prayer. I know I dont need this pen but everyone like a letter now and then. I dont understand a person as big as you need anything from a person like me.

I know I will not find all the answers to the questions I have. But I know I can still ask. Why did you make disabilities like Spina Bifida? Is it to make people understand that even though Im different I am just like them.  I know I should be strong and someday I will understand but right now I dont understand it. Why do people treat people badly? How can we let a child starve or let people kill each other? It breaks my heart to see this. Every child should have a home and food to eat. every person should be about to live life. Why do bad things happen to good people.

Im so sorry for being angry with you for taking my grandma away that June day. I know there is a meaning for everything that is going on in my life. I just need to open my heart and not shut it down again. I just dont understand why it had to be her.

Thank you for sending me my earth angels.  Tell my grandma that I miss her more than the world itself. Tell her that I understand now why I found that cd of Reba's that day I wanted to end it all. It was her saying that I need to hang on to better things and not to forget my dream. Tell her that I realize that I need the people that come into my life. Tell her that I understand why i care so much for Ms.Coe and Mrs.Green. They are family. They cant replace her but they are amazing at supporting and loving me. :) Thank you for sending Jenna my way. She is the best. She is helping me trust again. You always know who I need! I realize now that true friends do exist and that they will always be there!
Please send an angel to watch over ever single person that needs one and everyone of my true friends. Love always     
                                                         Sincerely, Jen Evans

The other movie that I have came across is "To Save a Life". Jake Taylor was a teen with a dream. He is the type of guy you couldn't help but like. Jake thought life was good. He had a ton of friends, a basketball scholarship, a hot girlfriend and a really bright future. Not too much to worry about?  Roger Dawson. He was Jake’s childhood best friend before Jake’s growing popularity pushed him out. Tired of not fitting in and not having a place to belong, Roger walks onto campus and, with a gun in his pocket and pain in his heart, makes the decision he thought was right. Shooting a few rounds in the ceiling of the school and then killing himself. Jake is devastated by what Roger has done, and something in him changes. In seeking answers in his own life, one question plagues him the most: Could he have saved Roger? He finds himself deeply compelled to reach out to kids on the fringe – kids who aren't viewed as cool enough. But this decision among other things, threatens Jake’s world. He may lose his friends, his scholarship and even his reputation by asking “What do I want my life to be about?” 

This movie, yes has a strong religion background but its much more than that. It made my heart ache because I know the way Roger felt. I felt the same way and sometimes still do. Feeling of loneliness and guilt. Not knowing where you are going in life. Getting judged by others and yourself. Not knowing where to turn or who to turn to. You think that the only way to relieve your pain is to end it. For me I was really close. By really close I mean rope in my hand or pills in my hand. But unlike Roger I found heroes (Reba and others), dreams, and realized how many people really do care. Its so sad because what happened to Roger is a real thing. Bullies exist in so many ways. Many people are so blinded to the ones that hurt or are hurting someone. Bullies do more than physical damage. A person that doesn't think highly of themselves as it is usually are the targets of bullies.  It hurts to be tease, judged, to not think you matter. If every one would reach out their hand like Jake did in this movie we wouldn't have so many teen suicides or suicides in general. I believe we are so wrapped up in ourselves that we dont know how to reach out that helping hand. Every 14.2 minutes someone in the United States dies by suicide. Nearly 1,000,000 people make a suicide attempt every year. If you know someone or are someone that is thinking that you have had enough or can't do it anymore please please call suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255 or reach out to them. People needed to know they matter to someone!!

So I recommend these movies to anyone who wants a great movie. They have taught me so much and that I guess is why I love watching movie that inspire me instead of movies that are about killing, zombies, sex, drugs, and other things. Yes, sometimes I want a comedy but for the most part I love inspirational movies.

I hope the person reading this knows that I love them very much and appreciate them so much! TTFN, Jen

P.S. If you ever have questions or ideas for a blog post PLEASE comment or write me on Facebook, Twitter, or email me!! <3


  1. I think you and I are far more alike than either one of us know. Do you like to read?? If so, please PLEASE pick up a copy of "The Shack" by William Paul Young. That book is PHENOMENAL. And, we really need to get together and have long endless talks into the night over junk food and good movies. Much love, my friend <#

  2. You can be an inspiration to many people. Keep blogging!!!!

  3. I agree with both Jamie and Mrs. Green. You two are in many ways alike. Check the library for the book. And yes, YOU are an inspiration. You amaze me with your deep insights.