Monday, December 31, 2012

Goodbye 2012

2012 has been an eye opener for sure..

The start of it I was in a place where I went with the flow and really didnt know what to do.. Thought that I didnt matter and that living day to day waiting for basically nothing. I was trying to figure out how to help myself but I had dug a hole deeper than most.. Crying most nights due to I was so ashamed of where I was at in life and not sure how to get anywhere.. I had a few friends that couldnt take the pressure and decided that the best way to heal the pain was to end it all.. I had really thought that no one cared but only a few.. Maybe that would heal what I felt inside. I didnt realize that if I would have ended it all I wouldnt have gain strength in my dreams and hopes. I wouldnt have gain a whole new outlook on life.

This past summer has been one for the record books. I realized so much in myself and in others I had shut out for so many years. I did things I hadnt done in years due to I was scared of being happy, afraid of letting go.. I found a bunch of people that not only have showed me so many things in life but have saved it. I rekindled a friendship that I didnt think was still there with Laureen Feild. I missed her so much! Jenna Jones is one special person. She has helped me realize so much this year.  I found a best friend that loves me for me and helps me realize the positive side of things. I could go on and on naming everyone that has become friends from the bunch of teachers/parapros and to strangers on Facebook that are some of my near and dear friends.  I found what friendship really means this past year.

One of the biggest things this year is I realized what family really means. Whether it is blood or not. Yes, I have a family that I love dearly and know they love me but I had always felt like some thing was missing or that I felt like a wall flower. As people were passing away the love that was there seem to disappear little by little. It seemed like everyone was going their separate ways on both my mom and dad's side of the family. I began to pull more away.

This summer I got to meet my "second" family. I had been friends with a teacher that use to work at the Elementary and Middle School I went to. Rebecka Vigus has showed me so much this year and last year that I am grateful every second of everyday. She is like a second mom. It started with going to see a camper that use to go to Acorn Buddy Camp and who happens to be Ms.Vigus's nephew. I met his mom Diane who is a incredible woman I might add. She is such a special lady. Then I sent a note to Jamie (Ms.Vigus's daughter,who I had heard so many incredible things about) that said that I was so grateful for her mom and couldnt wait to meet Jamie. We become friends on Facebook and talked through there. Jamie helped me out of a few sticky situations. One of one best days of 2012 that I will remember forever is when I got to meet the rest of Ryan's family and Ms.Vigus's daughter Jamie and her amazing family. That day changed my life for the best. I gain a sister Jamie (who I might add is the greatest. We talk everyday whether through text or Facebook (It makes me feel like I matter to someone and keeps me going)) and a whole family that day! I wont forget the love and how they accepted me for me and not a person with a disability. I love each and everyone of you and I could go on about each of you but just know that you all have made a difference in my life for the better and I am grateful to each of you.    

There is a saying that says that "One Person can change the world." 2012 has shown me that not only is this true but if you stand your ground anything is possible. There are so many issues in the world but if we only would open our eyes to them, we can change the way the world is. This past year my "sister" took on bullying which is a hard situation to begin with but she change not only the life of one girl but I know she has changed many lives of people out there with the Facebook page she made and the kindness she has for those in need. Sadly, the other person that has basically changed the world is gone but his message will live on in the hearts of his family and all that knew him.. Jayden Lamb was a inspiration. He fought so hard with cancer but he always lived by the message of Pay It Forward. His story is one of millions of kids fighting for their lives and want the simple thing in life "Love".

Some more highlights of 2012 are:
* Getting a email from my hero Reba McEntire through the help of one of my heroes Keith Allen!
* Getting to see Ms.Coe a few times especially around my birthday. She is family and its always nice to get to see her and catch up. I miss her so much but she is never far from my heart.
* Getting to see Mrs.Kathy Green a bunch of times. The fair and the surprise around my birthday were some of the highlights. She also is family and has been one of my biggest fans. I love her so much.
*Learning to use Twitter and get to know stars like Mallary Hope, Julie Roberts (she is a hero of mine) and get tweets from Mellissa Peterman, Martina McBride, Reba (twice), and others. Its makes me love country music so much more.
* Getting to know Kathy Cash (Johnny Cash's daughter) and Julie Roberts on FACEBOOK! I love them both so much!
*Megan Patjas coming to see me! She is my sister and to see her refreshed my faith in friends.
*Helping out my cousin Ashley and DJ with the kids.
*Learning to let go.. From the little things to some big things. It helps to get things off your chest.
*Taking it day by Day.. Moment by moment because you dont know when your time is up so treasure every moment.

So I am saying goodbye to all the things that happened in 2012. Not only has 2012 changed my life but I am learning to move forward and to DREAM! I am asking everyone to hold there love ones this new year and try to spread more love than Hate! We can all change the world if we just look at things a different way.



  1. Happy New Year, Jen....making me cry is not allowed. Love you.